Jet from Thailand

3 years

2010-08-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

It was 3 years ago this month we first laid eyes on Jet.

We had no "plans" to adopt again. My husband didn't, for sure. But an infant girl became available from Korea who was already state side. We raced like crazy to get our home study done, yet we were not the parents planned for this little girl.

But we have a home study done. Just sitting there. It kinda seems like a waste not use it, right?!? LOL

In come the waiting child photo albums and websites. We were interested in an infant girl.

Long story short, our older boy found us. Have you ever noticed how many boys are available?? I mean, seriously, you can dress them cute too and they love hugs just as much!

I had requested info on a few boys, intending to only look at kids with subsidized fees. I "accident-ly" (we know God doesn't do things accident-ly, now don't we!) received Jet's and fell in love. We were in the process of praying and discussing what to do when I get an email from the agency, Jet had received subsidized fees!

Now 3 years later on August 10th we went to the Thai Embassy in Chicago and registered Jet's adoption. We have fulfilled all the requirements needed. (OK, we still need to do the passport, oh and raise him!!)

We couldn't have it go off without a hitch though! I had called back in April and set up an appointment for August. We planned our time in IL, Papa took the time off and I let my daycare families know. Papa, I and the boys took the train in from the suburbs for an eleven o'clock appointment.

We arrived early and thank goodness we did. They had no record of us coming in, the gentleman I had spoken to was in Thailand on vacation and the paperwork was not ready! I must say what happened next would NOT happen at a US Embassy. After we explained we were here for one day, the man we were talking to asked if we could come back at two o'clock. He would do everything he could to get it ready for us, even though he had never filled out this paperwork before. We said we would aim for 1:30ish.

We kept sitting there for awhile, it was air-conditioned and free! We were going to wait until a little closer to lunch time and then leave. Well, good thing we were there, he came back a couple of times needing to ask us some questions, make copies of paperwork I had just decided to throw in my bag and at 11:40ish told us not to leave, he was trying to get it done by noon before their break for lunch!!

We were treated nicely by all involved even though it took until 12:10 for us to finish. The gentleman cheerfully engaged with Jet and Bug and was genuinely touched when the boys both bowed and said Kob Khun Ka. Unfortunately Jet is no longer able to say much else in Thai. ;((

We took pics outside of the Embassy and headed down the sidewalk to find some lunch. Right next to the Embassy was Silver Spoon, a hole in the wall restaurant with steep stairs leading underground. We went and we ate some of the BEST Thai food we have ever had, coming close to food we ate in Thailand!! YUM! Their lunch specials were huge and very well priced!

It was cute when in the middle of the meal Bug said he wished we could take lunch to our helper at the Embassy!!

I was amazed at the paperwork we received. I had no idea. We received his actual Thai birth certificate, we had only seen a copy. We received his House registration, like a US SS#. And we are able to maintain dual citizenship for him. We received 2 other forms in Thai and I can't remember what they were so if anybody knows, please tell me!!

It has been a long 3 years in some ways but now time just seems to be flying by!!

Brothers!

When I grow up....

2010-06-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

We were playing a game tonight and Jet pointed to a picture of a boy with brown skin saying it was Bug. Then he said the boy with white skin was himself. I said that doesn't look like my boy, both of my boys look like this boy, as I pointed to the boy with brown skin.

Jet was not happy with this comment, as he whimpered his response.

He doesn't like or want brown skin.

He asked his next question with tons of hope in his voice--"Will I have white skin when I grow up"?

So sad, only one year in and he has a desire to have a different color skin. I would give anything to have the beautiful brown skin my munchkins are naturally blessed with. My other 2 have not experienced this before/yet.

I find it so interesting as this last year I have become so disillusioned living in the United States. (Not that Americans are the only "white" skin colored culture) And this impressionable aged child comes to America, sees many white people and believes that is something to strive for and desire. What is it about our culture/environment that permeates a young child's mind, creating this type of a reaction to something as basic as the color of their skin. To make him want to be white when he grows up. To be willing to "change", hope to "change" what he looked like for 8 years, what all the others he knew looked like, abandon all that for something he believes is better. He was honestly disappointed in my answer. To the point of tears starting. He is not even the darkest of our children. So why does he see it as important? And where did the notion come from?

And, most importantly, what can I do to educate, encourage, explain to him that he can and should be valued by who he is on the inside. Not by the color of his skin. And that the color of his skin does not influence how much money, food, things, success....one has.

May 11th, 2001

2010-06-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

I am behind, please bear with my reflecting on the past month.

My Peanut came home on this day. Nine years ago, our first born child and only daughter was placed in our arms. We traveled to an airport about 3 hours away. It was a surreal experience, driving to an airport to be handed your child. This was pre-9/11 (barely) so we were able to wait at the gate and see our children's escorts getting right off the plane. An incredible experience and I am so thankful we had one child come home before 9/11 as to not miss that scene.

We had family at the airport. Her flight in was really late at night so we all stayed in a hotel. I gave in to the warnings to not let anyone else hold Peanut and regret that to this day. Very sad to say, it is my precious daughter who has paid the biggest price for that choice. Is still paying for it.

At the time we were adopting our first child through Holt, parents were not able to select gender unless they had one gender at home. We didn't so we were obviously open. It was a well known fact that more boys were available and most first time parents were blessed with a son. That knowledge, combined with the fact we knew a family in our town with the same dossier to Korea date requesting a girl, convinced us our first child would a boy.

Obviously God had other plans! And we naturally had no problem with that!!

Peanut is a loving, generous, petite, free spirited young girl who loves and hates the fact she is adopted. It is a battle that flares up frequently within her sweet soul. She longs to know Korea and recently became penpals with a young gal who is Korean. Peanut loves her family, Jesus, reading, swimming, ballet, singing, snuggling, sleeping with her bros, music, sunshine...

So many of her characteristics fit mine from when I was a child. Nicknames like Trouble, Twinkle Toes, Babbling Brook.....There is no doubt she is my daughter and I am SO very thankful to God for allowing me to raise her!!

Our butterfly whisperer

She had to squat down because the water blaster got too heavy!

A girl and her dog, Sam~we miss you, boy~

Peanut and her Godmother, my sis

Our 4 1/2 year old!

Is determined to do anything she wants!

Her first ballet recital, 5 1/2 years old

Thailand monsters

2010-05-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

When we first met our son in Thailand he was wearing 3 "bracelets" around his wrist. Two were regular looking bracelets and the other was a piece of string. We asked Miss Oh if there was any significance to each bracelet. The string was usually put on at a wat by a monk for good health, especially if one had been sick. She also let us know you NEVER cut it off. Very good to know!

Flash forward a few months when Jet starts talking about his experiences in Thailand and he says a monk put it on to keep the Thailand monsters away. I am fairly certain he still believes monsters are real. He is still trying to figure out why there aren't any in America or if he should believe us or not!!

Around 2 months or so ago, Jet asked me if he could cut it off. I indicated it was fine for him to cut it off or he could leave it on. Secretly, I have been wanting to cut that string off ages ago! It is dirty, ratty and a germ haven, I am sure. But I would never do that to him. It needed to be his decision or it needed to break on its own. He said he wanted to cut it off.

But he didn't. And I didn't say a thing.

We didn't discuss it again until today. He was Tigger bouncing around the living room and out of the blue indicated his "bracelet" and said, I want to cut it off. Same answer from me.

Straight for the scissors he went. Thankfully I snapped this first.

I am taking it as a sign of his letting go, moving on, feeling safer in our family. I can't help but correlate it to our conversation yesterday when Jet expressed to me he thought I loved Peanut and Bug more than him. Where another heart to heart, family bonding, crying time was had by Jet and I. Ya know, a YOU ARE MY SON FOREVER kinda thing. WE CHOSE YOU, WE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR YOU, WE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY kinda thing. I hope it is a sign of an increased comfort level for him.

It was probably just a Tigger bouncy off the wall kinda thing! Oh well!! I can have my moment, right?!!

Blessings~

Highs and lows

2010-05-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

I wrote the first part of this post back on March 16th. Most of it was done, but I struggle with my posts being perfect and I assume I couldn't find the words to finish it. So I never did. I found it yesterday when I was going through my drafts and planned to post it today. Little did I know how appropriate that thought would be. (The second part of this post was written on Thursday)

March 16th
Today was a tough day. Tensions have been high lately, each day seeming to build a little more. I am fairly certain we hit the crescendo today.

It appears Jet has decided he doesn't feel like following rules. A bit of a 2 year old temper tantrum attitude has become more prevalent. He does his own thing and even when he is trying to help, he won't listen to any advice.

Peanut's tolerance level has reached an end. She has had to take on more responsibility due to my increased daycare combined with the fact she is a child who NEEDS the sunshine and outside time. And lets face it, not all our snow has melted yet. And today was the warmest day since last November, we maybe topped out at 46*.

They played outside for almost 2 hours!!

But at dinner tonight we were able to bring it all back to memories from when we traveled to Thailand. Cheerful, good memories. Peanut remembering how cute she thought it was when they talked to Jet on Skype. I would tell him "say hello" and he would respond "say hello"!! LOL Bug agreeing and adding how he liked to hear his voice after wondering for so long about him. The pride in Jet's voice and posture after he said "what brother" and answered his own question with "oh me"!

We are a family. Through the good times and the tough times. (I am not a fan of using the words bad times, all can be teachable moments, God can bring good if we allow Him to)

Today
We have been heading toward that crescendo again. And within a 45 minute time frame all 3 children had a sobbing meltdown, separately.

Peanut struggles being the only girl and her brothers doing "boy" things all the time. She and Bug were inseparable and did boy and girl things together no problem. They were exceptionally close and that has changed. It very well might have changed with the ages they have turned even if Jet had not entered the scene. I am not sure how long Bug would have played Amer*can Girl or Pol*y Pockets. Though since it coincided with Jet coming home, it appears to be because of him. Jet does not like to do girlie things, surprisingly to me since he lived with quite a few girls. But most everything he was exposed to seems to be gross motor activities not gender related. And he caught on rather quickly to gender specific types, even though we don't emphasis them. Not sure how that happened. Since that was never an issue, I am often at a loss as to how to deal with the whole boy/girl play thing.

Jet has become a bit angry, more defensive in his manner. He takes most things as a slight whether intended or not. He has started talking back to the kids as well as Papa and I. We have had a few incidents of exaggerating or lying. Jet wants to make all the choices and be in charge of all situations. He doesn't have the same desire to please in doing his chores as he had before. He also seems to be having an increase in his energy level, a bit of a need for speed.

Bug is very sensitive and rather conflicted at times. He ADORES his sister and can't stand the thought he (or someone else) might have hurt her. He ADORES having a brother and all that goes along with that, like Star W*rs, Leg*s, light sabers, etc... Bug does not understand the flare for "drama" his brother and sister display. During today's situation the poor kiddo just kept repeating "I just wanted to play with the marbles and blocks" while crying.

It seems to go in waves. We have had two or so weeks of great "getting along", everybody's ideas counting, no big disagreements, good sharing, thoughtfulness to each other. Then bam! It can almost seem like we are at ground zero starting all over again. I am ever so thankful God is my constant companion and that He creates children with such incredible resilience. I appreciate their ability to forgive and forget. I can learn so much at times by watching them move past a negative situation and return to the loving relationship they share with their siblings.

It has come to my attention over the last few weeks, being a brother or sister is not a natural instinct. It needs to be more intensely taught and learned then I had anticipated. An example would be about one week ago, I was having snuggle time with Bug after the other two were in bed. An extra 15 minutes each munchkin gets for one on one time once a week. After 5 minutes, Jet comes up saying he can't sleep because Peanut was crying. I said maybe he could comfort Peanut, see if he could make her feel better. "How" he asked with this perplexed look on his face. I gave him suggestions. After Bug's 15 minutes, Peanut came up and the first thing she said was "Jet just made my year"! He comforted her! Though Peanut quickly changed it to "her day", I mean, come on, we can't make things seem too good now can we?!

I realize all the happenings in our house are natural, expected, part of the package. We have not been a family of five for even a year yet. Though we are close! But we were a family of four for 6.5 years and Jet was a child in an orphanage for 8+ years. When you compare those time frames, one MUST understand we are where we are "suppose" to be and we will continue to grow and learn. With more highs and more lows.

I strongly believe the highs and lows are what creates the strong family bond of affection. Feelings are intense, they need to be, to produce sympathy, love, unselfishness. Those things that make a family, help it to survive all trials, allow its members to be themselves and know they will always be taken care of with an unconditional love.

So bring on the highs and lows!! And let us always remember to forgive and forget.

Fancy

2010-04-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

Jet and Bug were playing with their Ma*ch box cars the other day when Jet was telling me about one of the cars. He told me something about the "fancy" car.

Bug stopped and said "where did you learn a big word like that?"!!! LOL

11 months

2010-04-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Wow, it is unbelievable to realize we will be celebrating 1 year home next month with Jet!!

I thought I would give an update to things in our house!

Jet is doing very well. He is an energetic, little boy who is very happy warmer, outside weather has arrived. The winter was a long cold time for him. Outside play is minimal because it gets quite cold here, yet the sun shines brightly like in Thailand. He would think that automatically meant it was warm enough to go out. By the time spring was starting Jet was literally bouncing off the furniture! Thankfully our spring has been incredibly warm and much outside time has been had. I was quite sure one of us wasn't going to make it to spring if it didn't come soon!!

On the topic of energetic, Jet doesn't walk anywhere. He runs, skips, jumps, hops.... Literally. all. the. time. Arms flapping, head bouncing, legs hopping. Jet doesn't walk up the stairs, all four limbs are used to bounce up them every time! You could ask him take out the trash and his wiggly, giggly body would be on the task! If we could only bottle up his energy and enthusiasm!!

The bathroom situation is still a struggle. He goes at the prescribed time only with the exception of a handful of times. Once after I noted something seemed to be wrong, he indicated his stomach hurt and we encouraged him to go potty. (It is the name he uses for time to sit, pee we still call hung nam) He has been able to draw on that "feeling" and know he needs to go. At least 90% of the time he goes because he knows he "has" to because it is part of his routine. Jet was floored when he finally realized this needed to be a daily ritual. (I might have just found one task/time he doesn't hop, skip or jump to do!) He tells us he did not have to go every day in Thailand. Nor did he have gas. ;0)

Jet would really like to travel back to Thailand. He would like to see his friends. He would like his family to meet his friends. He has all sorts of things he talks about wanting us to experience, eat, see. This one troubles my heart. I would of course love to take us all back there. We enjoy traveling, the other munchkins didn't get to see it. I also strongly feel Jet NEEDS to go to have closure. So much is happening when the time comes for our children to leave their current life. A child Jet's age, 8+, has got to have so much going on in their heads. So much unknown, excitement, fear, anxiety. How can they truly grasp the departure from life as they know it? That their new home is 7243 miles from their current home and chances of returning are unknown. It is impossible for them to grasp and therefore, in my opinion, also impossible for them to take with them what they NEED to take with them. And I don't mean physical things. Adding more struggles is the fact we now have 2 countries to visit, S. Korea and Thailand. Unsolicited advice warning: Plan financially to return at about one year with your child and I am obviously speaking about the older adopted child here. I realize all children are different, if yours doesn't "need" to go back, go on a great vacation or use it to adopt again!!

Jet has grown about 1 1/2 inches and gained 4 pounds. His hair is the most obvious sign of better nutrition. His hair was very thin and sparse when we came home from Thailand. Jet has more hair now, it seems more full. Malnutrition is still evident in his appearance and will be for 3-4 years our family doctor feels. I also believe it plays a part in his attention span.

We have naturally had ups and downs, however we are thrilled to be a family of five! I have other areas to update however I want them to have their own posts so it isn't so much to read at once!!

We are so blessed!

April 2009

January 2010

Singing time

2010-03-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

It is so fun to listen to Jet sing! It is like listening to a toddler/young child singing what they think are the words.

My favorite to hear, and his so we hear it alot!, is Jingle Bells. (He likes to sing all the time and I have just been realizing we need to do the typical young child songs for him to learn and expand his repertoire!)

Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way,
Oh my God, it is.....(mumble mumble)

And the best part is Oh my God is said very reverently as we do not use that phrase in our home and when we say my God it is done as we talk about our God.

I like to hear it so much I have not yet been able to correct him. Neither has Peanut, she thinks it is sweet too.

We do singing time with the day care infants everyday and it so cute to watch my kiddos with them. I love watching Jet sing to them and try to follow along as he is learning. Yesterday he was trying to keep one baby happy while I fed another so he tried to start the songs on his own.
I really had a blast listening to him sing to her, his versions, with the Thai accent.

I wonder if their parents will notice when their kiddos start singing songs? Ya know, the Thai accented wrong words to the traditional nursery and Christmas songs!!

But seriously, who could resist!!??!!!!

My son

2010-03-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

Quite a few times over the last few months Jet has commented he wishes I would have a baby in my tummy. (I feel in some ways it is his way of experiencing/saying he wishes he had been born from my womb)

A couple days ago, out of the blue, Jet tells me he is glad Jesus didn't have a baby put in my tummy. I asked why. Because then I wouldn't be your son. You and Daddy wouldn't have come to Thailand and brought me home. To be your son.

My son.

I am glad too.

7 years ago

2010-03-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago today, we physically became a family of four. I became ill about 2 days prior to traveling. We had Bug escorted but still had to drive 3 hours to pick him up at the airport. I was devastated to not be able to travel. But Papa bravely went forth all on his own. I was so sick, Peanut had to go stay with my mom and dad. His flight was delayed due to a snow storm in Denver where they had a lay over. He came home on St. Joseph's feast day! Special for us. And his 5 month birthday.

I remember my girlfriend calling me, she came from IL to the airport. I was on with her when they were handing our son into my husband's arms. She was crying, I was crying, she was trying to take video and picture and take it all in. I had to let her go! She told me he had wild hair and was big. The biggest clothes I had sent were 6-9 month size. He was 20 lbs! Hubby could only put part of one outfit on him!!

I remember everything about my hubby pulling in the driveway. Looking in the back seat at this little baby. Feeling so proud of my husband, this little boy's daddy.

Bug is an easy going, kind hearted loving boy. He loves to read, play L*gos, anything St*r Wars, his family, Jesus, snuggles, Th*mas the tank engine, eating mama cooked meals and his baby blanket. At this point I am not sure the baby blanket will be gone when he walks down the aisle!! I love this boy and thank God for him every day!!

He stops to smell the flowers!

Chillin' while watching tv

I lOVE the 70's disco pants!

He climbed OUT of his crib and fell asleep here!

2nd Birthday!

My beautiful boy!

Can't you just see the mischief!

He has always had a laugh out loud personality!

Bug gives the BEST hugs and willingly switches clothes with Peanut, anything to get a laugh!

Bug has always been the best pillow for his sweet sister.

And has had the favor returned!

I forgot

2010-03-12T21:13:00.000-08:00

Today as I was cooing at our 3.5 month old daycare baby, Jet says something to me about adopting a Thai baby. I wasn't sure what exactly he was referencing, whether he was saying he wanted us to adopt a Thai baby or if he wanted to when he grew up. Both of those scenarios are regular topics of discussion by our munchkins.

He starts reminding me of a baby his "mom" had in Thailand. This "mom" was a main caretaker of his and from his stories he often went home with her and helped her take care of this infant. I was not able to ascertain whether this child was adopted by her or a bio child.

Jet wistfully says he should have brought the baby with him to America for us to adopt.

He says "I forgot", all sad like.

If it were only that easy, pal. I would have come home with a plane full!

We did have a small discussion touching on the paperwork and time needed to "hop" countries. At least as much as a 9 year old with 9 months of English could handle! More importantly, we spent time chatting about friends left behind.

Advantage--Jet

2010-03-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

Living in an orphanage has many disadvantages for our children. That is obvious and an understatement in my opinion. The past 2 weeks has shown a huge advantage Jet has over us.

He has the immune system of a buffalo!!

Peanut started it and within one week it took out me and Bug, all the while she was on an antibiotic! She still feels crummy, my head is still congested and if I talk to much my voice goes. I felt like a mac truck had run me over for about 5 days. Now it feels like it was only a mini-van.

It took over my sister's family, all 4 of them, within a little over a week's time.

This nasty bug is contagious!!

But our sweet Jet is still a sparkly eyed ball of energy! His energy brings us all to tears 'cause we feel so awful! LOL

He loves to help us sickies out so we are so thankful for his strong immune system!

(Now I hope Murphy's law doesn't bite me in the butt!!)

Jet's best friend--stuck

2010-02-28T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have needed to write this update for awhile. I have not been able to for many reasons. Number one is the hurt it brings to my heart. Very few times in my life, thanks be to God, I have experienced a pain so deep as this one.

In a previous post, here, I asked for prayers for a family waiting for a beautiful boy who is my son's best friend. Jet's best friend was told at the same time as Jet that he had a family waiting for him in America.

That was March 2008. We brought Jet home May 2009.

It seemed there was an issue with his child history. A signature had not been gotten at the time it was needed. Now the person can't be found. This one signature seems to make the difference between adoptable or not. An orphan or not an orphan.

Papa and I are simply not able to wrap our minds around the idea that a child who has had no family since birth visit with him, spend time with him, care for him would not be considered an orphan.

The definition of orphan seems pretty clear to me.
As a noun A child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.
As an adj Deprived of parents

He has been in the care of an orphanage, taken care of by caretakers, not parents. This child has 2 people in America, parents, who wish to care for him, give him a life filled with love and attention and love him already.

Eight years abandoned in an orphanage should be MORE than enough time for a child to be considered an orphan. Something should be able to be done to note this to the authorities in charge.

Jet still talks of his best friend coming to America. He must be unsure/confused about the fact that his best friend already had a family here in America. I say this because about one week after Shawna and Mark found out the news, Jet came to me with an idea that broke my heart. He did not know anything about what was going on with his friend. He had just heard my very good friend from IL, "L" was starting the process of adopting a young boy from Thailand. We truly weren't even sure if Jet understood what we said when we told the kids. But he told me "L" should adopt ___ because then Peanut and Bug could meet him and he could help him learn English.

How do I answer that? And his limited understanding has him believing it will happen.

To make things harder to bear are the stories Jet shares about his life at the orphanage. In some ways he was very fortunate. He came home with more experiences than we never imagined a child from an orphanage would have. He went to movies, fun parks, the beach, had tried all sorts of food, rode on a motorcycle, regularly went to 7-11 and more. Yet there are also stories that caused Jet and his friend to want to go to America, where those things wouldn't happen. His words, not mine.

We still haven't told Jet. I simply do not know how to do it. Or how to try and help him understand it. Since I have so little of an understanding myself. Part of me hopes it is all a mistake. A terrible mistake, that will be used to glorify God in the end.

I have images of Jet's best friend burned in my brain. When we went back to the orphanage to visit, I focused very intently on his friend. One because I wanted to share with Shawna all I could about her son waiting for her in Thailand. Two because he was such a big part of my son's life and I wanted to KNOW this child. Knowing this child is ripping at my heart.

Shawna and Mark made the heart wrenching decision to stop pursuing a Thailand adoption and have just this weekend been blessed with an 8 year old girl through a domestic adoption!! This little girl now has a wonderful home and family! Praise God!

This has rocked my world, bringing me crashing to my knees and I am struggling to get back up. It has inspired many discussions between Papa and I. In depth, life changing discussions. We are a simple family in midwest America trying to survive the economic recession. Where we feel God leading us is way outside the realm. Please keep us in your prayers.

For now my faith gives me one thing to hold one to--this boy is in our life for one reason. For now it is to pray for him. And that we do.

A boy and his best friend.

911

2010-02-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

Jet knows how to dial 911.

And he knows there are firemen on the other end. (ok, sort of firemen but you get the idea!)

My mom keeps her old cell phones for the grandkids to use for play. Jet is obsessed with one phone in particular because it takes pictures. He finds it when we first get there and keeps it on him at all times. Quite honestly he likes any play phone. So I have heard him play talk many times on the phone.

Mom and I are chatting, kids are playing and my dear dad was watching his neighbor plow snow for him. Jet is near us when I hear him say he is dialing 911. I don't register much except I think it is great he knows how to do that! I wasn't even sure if the phone was turned on, etc...

I think I hear a recording. But I have heard something like that before so not much thought yet. Then I notice Jet seems to be having a REALLY GOOD conversation with himself. Very smart questions he seems to be answering!

Say, Mom....do I remember right....can't you call 911 with a cell phone even if the phone isn't in service any more?

I have one ear tuned in to mom and the other listening to the conversation I am starting to desperately hope my son IS having with himself.

I must admit mom's answer took a back seat to Jet saying "here is my brother" while trying to hand Bug the phone. Telling him the fireman wants to talk to him. This is one good pretend phone call!

Bug was too busy watching Charlie Brown valentine and said no thank you.

My ears are starting to listen for the sirens.....I don't think my parents neighbors could take a second ambulance, etc coming to their house in one month!!

What was your answer, mom? No really, are you sure? Because Jet is having a conversation on the phone like I have never seen before. Are you sure?

Ok, the sirens should be coming soon.

Mom goes over and takes the phone from Jet to listen. I am fairly certain she really didn't expect to hear anything but a recording.

An FYI, in case YOU didn't know. They DO dial 911 even if no longer in service!!

Thank goodness the Thai accent in a child with stilted English helped her to NOT find it necessary to send help right away.

Or maybe it was the fact his brother was too busy watching Charlie Brown.......

'Cause I can ;))

2010-02-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my favorite pics from the past year! These are from our summer fun at our friends in IL.

Following his brother's favorite pose for picture taking!

His favorite noodles! The bowl was bigger than his head!!

My Boys!!

Kob Khun Ka

2010-02-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

In adoption, we have fewer people who understand the steps we go through. Truly. understand. A much bigger population of people share the pregnancy experience.

We have miscarriages that involve pictures, video and child history's. Our hearts break the same.

We have 9 months (or typically more) of waiting with nothing to "tell" the world we are expecting. Very little to make it real for ourselves, let alone anyone else.

We have paper pains....not labor pains. THE WHOLE TIME!! Before our child is even "conceived"!

Our child is in some other person's care, half a world away. And there is nothing we can do for them or to impact when they come home. (Except pray!)

For a portion of us, this all comes after infertility, secondary infertility and the many losses suffered during that time period.

It comes with friends and family more than likely sharing their opinions on your choices. The well meaning aunties telling us we just don't "do it" enough or other even more awkward references to the things that happen in the privacy of your bedroom!! To others who question why international, older child and "don't you want your own".

All of this to say, it is so wonderful to be connected with a group of women (and men) who truly understand. It is such a blessing to have the internet as a resource to share with others who are just like us. We may not all have the same political, religious or moral views yet we are able to share the one thing we do have in common.

The love of our children--given to us in a unique way.

I LOVE the adoption process. Yes, I do wish parts of it were different. But it is a complete high for me. Whether it be mine or someone else's. I love to be a part of it. I love to share what I have learned and learn something from someone else. I especially love the knowledge that yet another orphaned child will have a FAMILY. Family is one of Jet's most favorite words. He gets it. Really he gets what so many people in our society don't. A most fundamental basic need and how important it is to one's development.

Family is one of my favorite words too.

Kob Khun Ka for allowing me to be a part of your family and for sharing in my family's joy!

Here he is!!

2010-01-30T08:48:00.001-08:00

Please meet our newest son-----

Peanut was in charge of the camera, she did good!

I love this picture, he looks so attentive to the judge!

The night before I was getting clothes ready for the next day. Peanut and I always struggle over her clothes so I knew I didn't want to deal with it in the morning. We had to leave by 10:15a and we had us 5 plus our 6 month and 3 month old day care babies! As we were looking in her closet here hanbok (Korean dress) popped out at us. She tried the hat on and I was looking at the dress itself thinking it looked quite generous for her. Lo and behold, it still fits her!! It is intended to be worn at your first birthday! We found a compromise, quickly I might add. So, of course the boys needed to be dressed in Asian wear as well!!

So we walked into town hall, in a town of 3100 like this....

We were 10 minutes late and the judge was sitting on the bench already. YIKES! I am fairly certain we made our poor bil a nervous wreck. And they couldn't reach us on our cell phone because we had no coverage. :)) But our judge was AWESOME!! He had actually done our other 2 adoptions and is an adoptive father himself! He included the other 2 munchkins, talking to them and having them approach the bench to sign the actual adoption decree. They felt so proud and such a part of it all. Then he gave them each a lollipop!

The 3 amigos!

We celebrated by having home made spring rolls for dinner! YUMMY!!!!! It was the first time I made them and they were so good!! Everyone loved them, that doesn't happen very often!

My favorite pic from the day....Jet with my Dad, who by the grace of God was able to be there mere weeks after a major heart attack. As you can tell by his face, Jet is a real ham! My Dad was pretending to eat his lollipop.

On the drive home I mentioned to Papa, I wonder if the judge will still be around in another 2 years.......I will just say, I liked his comment.

I am going to continue to use our nicknames for the munchkins since I hope to keep this blog and am not too sure we won't do it again. ;))

Hope you enjoyed!

Pictures tomorrow!

2010-01-28T21:02:00.000-08:00

Finalizing tomorrow!!!! We are all very excited. It is very different going to court to finalize with an older child. Jet is very aware of what we are doing and grasps at least a portion of the importance of it. I believe it will bring him a measure of peace in his comfort level as a member of our family!

Outfits were picked out tonight! We will most definitely be making a statement!!

I will get pics up tomorrow late afternoon after my 2 daycare babies go home!

Check back!!!!!!!!!!

Our Timeline

2010-01-21T20:36:00.000-08:00

A few people have asked about our timing for finalizing, so I thought I would mention it here! We had our last post placement visit the beginning of November. Our SW gets our reports done very quickly but somehow November slipped through our fingers. My bil is our lawyer and in order for him to do the work and not charge us, he had to spend some time convincing others in his firm to allow him to do it. We also had the (one) judge who does adoptions out of town the last 2 weeks in December!

Under normal circumstances, we could have easily made it to court in December. Our agency has been fantastic and responds very very quickly to finishing the necessary paperwork! So no hold up on that part!!

We do have a court date!! January 29th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One week and you can see his face!!!!

Jump!

2010-01-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

Jet got up from the table this morning saying "I am so happy to have lots of days here" followed by "I am so happy to have family" all while smiling at me.

Later in the morning, Jet came up to me and asked if he should call me Mama or Mae. I answered whatever he would like to call me. I was fairly sleepy and not completely sure Mae was the word for Mama in Thai, but I was hoping. As I was trying to process this through my sleep deprived mind, Jet stepped up to the plate and was telling me Mae was Thai for Mama. I must have had some mighty confused look on my face!!

He chose Mae.

I feel very honored to be brought into his world enough to share the name he would use if raised in Thailand. I would love to know what is going on inside his head to bring him to this point.

Adopted children have so many losses in their lives. And they live with these losses forever. It isn't something that goes away after a time of adjustment. It does get easier, God willing. It may not take front place in their life or ours. But it is there and there is no instruction book that tells us when to expect feelings from their loss to surface. Or how best to help our children and ourselves cope.

I knew about the losses or so I thought until we adopted our first older child. It has opened my eyes to so many things/areas that affect our children because they are adopted. The loss of language, smells, tastes, customs, traditions, way of raising, teaching, faith, dress, way of life, family business......

At times I am overwhelmed by the losses these little beings have had so that I could be a mother. Their mother.

Other times, I feel sadness. For them, for their birth families, for their birth country. For myself, because it is hard when their hearts ache.

Then it turns to determination. You see, I know God is putting our family together. Without a doubt His hand has been on every adoption we have gone through. The following verse has meant so much to me through my grieving our infertility and accepting the path our life has taken. It has spoken to me many times, personally.

อย่ากลัวเลย เพราะเราอยู่กับเจ้า เราจะนำเชื้อสายของเจ้ามาจากตะวันออก และเราจะรวบรวมเจ้ามาจากตะวันตก Isaiah 43, 5

I believe God knew these children were to be ours before they were even 'knitted in their birth mothers' wombs'. Through all the trials and tribulations, heartaches and struggles, I am comforted by the knowledge that God will be with me through it all. All I have to do is ask.

I am determined to do my part in raising these beautiful munchkins that have traveled half a world to make a family with me. I am determined to help them cope with their losses the best I can.

I just take a deep breath, say a quick pray.......and jump!

Jet's Day

2010-01-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

Jet wanted an exciting day and he got one! Just not sure I needed all the excitement that came with it.

My father suffered a major heart attack this morning and had a stint put in one artery. He is stable at this time, we wait to see what damage was sustained. My mother was admitted shortly after, a combination of previous health concerns and today's stress.

So no family birthday party and I was gone most of the day.

However, while the cat is away the mice will play!

A morning of DS and Wii play, lunch eaten AT Burger King, an afternoon of Wii, Star Wars movie, pizza (brought in, not Mama made!) for dinner followed by cake! All with Papa and the brother and sister!! Then the present opening. I was home in time for dinner and presents. Yeh!

A picture or two tomorrow, I am exhausted.

Please tell your family members you love them. And make sure you right with the Lord, for we never know the time or place. Blessings~

Signed, Sealed and Delivered!

2010-01-15T21:03:00.001-08:00

We traversed to our lawyer's office today to sign the petition to adopt!! YIPEEEEEE!!!! It will be filed next Tuesday and we have a court date of February 5th. We can't wait!

Most exciting, however, is the birthday we are celebrating tomorrow. Jet turns 9 and is SO excited! He has had to live through his brother and sister's birthdays before he gets to celebrate his first with a family. And gifts.

Jet has truly not talked about anything else this week! Today by 10:15am I had heard no less than 5 times that tomorrow was his birthday. And I was only with him from 7am to 8:30! My sister had him for the rest of the time and heard it about 5x as well!! LOL

He is just a little excited. Maybe.

Check back tomorrow night for an birthday post!

Mama and Daddy's Son

2010-01-13T20:52:00.000-08:00

After I realized Jet was still concerned about being here in our family forever, we have talked about it quite often.

Yesterday I was filling out a form for our lawyer and called Jet over to confirm with him his official name. I explained the papers and it was so we could go to court to have him as our son FOREVER.

Today, Jet and I were alone in the car (only a daycare baby along) and he said:

"I can't wait till we go somewhere and someone says I am Mama and Daddy's son forever. I never have to go anywhere else."

I have explained to him no matter what anyone says, he is our son! I hope going to the *officials* helps to give him some piece of mind.

We can't wait either, buddy!!! But you are OURS no matter what anybody says!!

Then I can show his face!!!!!!!

Hot and Cold

2010-01-07T20:43:00.000-08:00

Jet has been home 8 months as of yesterday. He has had alot of changes in this time. Obviously! We knew this going in to adoption, especially of an older child.

One we had really not put too much thought to was the temperature changes and it's affect on his body. The obvious was there. Jet lived in a very warm climate, we have cold/winter-y weather for about 5 months of the year. We KNEW he would be cold and would need many layers of clothes. Jet came home at the perfect time to adjust the best one could. It was early May and we had summer to look forward to.

We could tell he was "warming" up to our weather when he was able to stop wearing a fleece hoodie. Outside. This past summer.

He has been at least cool to the touch this whole winter so far. Even with 2-3 layers on top.

The day after Christmas, the munchkins and I headed up to Minnesota's North Shore for a snowy vacation. We had no tv or internet where we were staying. We knew it was cold, we were only 1 hour from Canada! We bundled up and headed out.

By our third day, Jet was not quite up to his usual active energy level. He had asked me 2x for water to drink and said his mouth was dry. I can count on one hand how many times Jet has asked for something to eat or drink. Including these 2x.

After lunch, I happened to end up with my hand on Jet's head and realized he felt hot. His temp was almost 103*!

There was no other symptoms. Never was. I kept him in for a day and we started to think maybe dehydration or temp change.

It turns out it was just too much of a weather change. His poor little body was attempting to regulate itself to this wild change.

I mean in just less than 8 months, he went from 105* weather to 10* highs with -25 to -30* weather including wind chills!

Our kids are amazing if one really looks at all they endure when coming home to their forever families!

Twister

2010-01-04T18:30:00.000-08:00

We received Twister from Santa and what an incredibly smart guy he is!! This game is made for older children recently adopted from another country!

It teaches 4 primary colors and your left from your right!

Jet is able to play this game without having to be paired with someone as he is with most games.

He gets the left and right correct most of the time now.

It is when he copies his sister, Peanut, that he gets it wrong! ;))

Oh well, it will help her too, I guess! LOL

1st Christmas

2009-12-25T14:30:00.000-08:00

One would not normally assume an 8 1/2 year old would be experiencing Christmas, Santa, stockings, presents, cookies, Christmas lights and trees for the first time. But that is the case here. Naturally none of this was celebrated in Thailand at his orphanage.

This week we have had many many first experiences.

Presents arrived from my brother and his fam. Such torture having them sitting there to just look at!! We had found out a few months ago Jet had never received a present. He had a few upon arriving home but we tried to keep things simple. But going from NEVER to Christmas! Whoa!!

Can you even think about a child never being given a gift? None for his/her birthday, Christmas or just because they are loved. I am not naive, I have known it exists, but never so fresh in my mind. Never put right in front of me, as in my son. And his friends. All left behind, with slim chances of ever experiencing the love of a family.

Jet's stocking was delivered and hung making there 5! The next day he made a letter and picture, then put it in his stocking. One minute later he *found* his stocking had something inside! It was so cute!

Tuesday this week was one of the best days!! Papa was not working so we went to sit on Santa's lap! We went in the early afternoon and timing was perfect. We arrived while Santa was at lunch, expected to be back in 10 minutes. We were second in line!! Woo hoo! Jet loved every minute of it and had to be pried off Santa's lap. He did have one minute of nervousness while we were waiting but when I explained Mama would be there as well as Peanut and Bug, all was well.

Then at dinner time on Tuesday, I whipped up some chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate. The munchkins put their pjs on and we jumped in the car to munch, slurp and look at Christmas lights around town! It was a blast, as it is a favorite tradition of ours and Jet's excitement made it extra special. Thankfully we did it Tuesday night as we now can't leave the house, we have so much snow!!

I truly wish on Wednesday I had counted how many times Jet said "Mama, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Then we open presents"!! To say he was excited is an understatement!! Not that one could blame him. His FIRST ever Christmas!

It dawned on me at bedtime he thought we would be waking up and opening family presents right away. Like it had been explained to him we did on Christmas morning from Santa. Whew, he at least knew we had to wait till after dinner Christmas Eve.

Peanut and Bug generously volunteered to allow Jet open the first present, as we take turns. He was so excited!! We opened and played till almost 10pm.

So imagine my surprise when I was awoken at 3am to shrieks from Peanut's bedroom! Excitement abounded until Mama walked in. Jet did get in an excited, "it's Christmas morning" before I separated everyone to their own spot to go back to sleep.

Then we couldn't get Jet to wake up! Finally at 8:15am, Bug went in to wake him and his gasp was AWESOME!!

Christmas morning had FINALLY come!!

Merry CHRISTmas everyone!!!

Winner Take All

2009-12-18T10:49:00.000-08:00

Competition is fierce in my house.

Seriously.Fierce.

And I mean fierce, seriously.

Let me give you an example--

The munchkins and Papa were downstairs playing a Wii bowling game. I was upstairs doing chores and could hear the fun being had downstairs. Soon I could hear many strikes were being made. All was well.

For a moment or two.

Then I hear it. Two munchkins voices going back and forth, getting louder and louder. With the third voice thrown in every once in awhile. (I wasn't sure which 2 until later. I will admit I assumed I knew who it was, but I was wrong!)

Up for "debate"--whose strike happened faster. Yes, you read it right!

WHOSE. BALL. AND. PINS. WENT. DOWN. FASTER.

My first reaction was REALLY. SERIOUSLY.

Then I laughed. Right out loud. I was SO deliriously happy Papa was witness to this scene! I strongly believe he is laughing inside at me or rolling his eyes when I talk about the competition that goes on. Day after day. And I only share when I am truly exasperated!

He had first hand experience! And one of the best! I wish you could have seen his face when I brought it up later after the kids were in bed. Dumbfounded!

I don't want my kids to grow up fast at all. But I can't wait to share this one with their kids!!

Blessings~

Present Plan Flop

2009-12-16T20:43:00.000-08:00

Birthdays and Christmas are all smooshed together in our house. From the middle of Oct. to the middle of January, all 3 munchkins have a birthday and Christmas. The rest of the year is empty.

We started talking birthdays back in Sept. with Bug's being the first to celebrate. Through different conversations and events, it became apparent to us that Jet assumed you received anything/everything you asked for.

In the past Peanut and Bug have marked up the magazines, made lists, etc... I remember doing the same with the JcPenney's catalog! But they know it doesn't mean they will receive all those items. We encouraged them to not focus too much on that this year, to lessen some confusion.

One day before Bug's birthday, I had an idea to write out a long want list. I listed everything Bug wanted or had even mentioned! My mind set was then Jet would see we don't get everything we want.

Bug received 4 or 5 items from his list. I made sure to point it out.

Not too long after, Jet seemed focused on telling me he wasn't going to make a big list. "Not many things, little bit"--he says.

It took a few days to hit me......

4 or 5 things were on his list.

This munchkin will definitely keep us on our toes!! :))

Oh, and those few things...

a drum set, violin, nintendo DS, star wars legos, remote control helicopter or R2D2

LOL

Family Forever Mine

2009-12-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

Jet recently climbed on to my lap and whispered in my ear--

"I know why Mama and Daddy brought me to America. To help Bug pick up his bedroom."

I about died laughing!! Jet was mostly kidding.

Naturally I did reassure him we brought him here to be our son. It was God's plan and we loved him, plain and simple.

We have had to reinforce to Jet our love is unconditional. As expected for a child raised in an orphanage for the first 8 years of his life, grasping the concept of family has been an ongoing one. In a way similar to a toddler, we need to list all the members or our family including his name. We can't just assume he knows he is included or say "you".

Shortly after returning from Thailand, we had the "issue" of going back to Thailand arise. After much discussion, we realized Jet didn't understand we were referring to taking a vacation there and he assumed it was him going back. We addressed the fact he was our son and would always return to America with us. (Unless he chose differently when he was old enough.) No matter where we went.

It is so matter of fact for us, no question, not on our minds..... Not so for him.

We have been home 7 months and 2 days.

At dinner tonight with tears in his eyes, Jet asked me--

"Do you know if I will have to go back to Thailand?" What?

After many tears and much talk back and forth it came out. He still questions the permanency of his new family. I know it has only been 7 months. Versus 8 years. I still wonder how long his sweet mind has to be tortured with these thoughts. The last few nights he has had bad dreams. I am guessing we have the cause of them. Will he ever be assured of his place in our family?

Much reassurance was made to Jet by myself, Peanut and Bug. (Papa was working at the time) It is so encouraging to see our other 2 kiddos react to such agony on their brother's part. The squabbles and struggles of every day life melt away, leaving a brother and sister grieving for their brother. They want to make him feel loved, special, part of our family in every way possible. Their compassion and tenderness astound me. Just some of the many wonderful things adoption has given us all.

After we had talked a few minutes, my sweet Bug lovingly rubbed Jet's cheek with his hand. And said "you have to stay here.....who else would help me clean my bedroom?!!"

A shot of humor at just the right time.

We continue to plug along grafting a new member into our family unit. Life can get busy, Jet seems to have so much English learned, it is easy to slip into a comfortable place, forgetting there is still so much to work through. We need to take the time to make the reassurances a regular part of our daily/weekly routine so we don't fall into an assumed, take for granted mode and leave the older adopted child behind.

Still living, loving and learning....

Oh....I got it......

2009-11-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

Wow has it been awhile! All I can say right now is I am back! And I have alot to say.

Tonight I will start with an update.

We have hit 6 months!! Who would think! Time goes sssooo s l o w will waiting for your child to come home and then it simply flies by in a flash. Why is that?! We had our last home visit and will hopefully be getting into court soon!

I can't wait to share his picture!

Jet is doing good! His vocabulary continues to grow. A short 6 months in and we are working on fine tuning his pronunciation. He has an incredible grasp of the English language and the meaning of words. Quite evident by the fact he is able to translate so many things from English to Thai!

Oh...I got it... Jet's favorite phrase....usually includes a pointer finger in the air, followed by his answer/thought/comment. We must hear it at least 20 times a day!

Jet is working to find his fit with his brother and sister, not by angry glares anymore. His "edge" or wall of protection is for the most part non-existent. We have entered a new phase of grieving, thankfully. As odd as that may sound, I strongly believe it would not be a good situation if we didn't experience grieving. Jet has mourned the loss of his friends. Difficult as that may be, he did make it a habit of bringing it up when one of his siblings was not doing what he wanted or they were disagreeing. I by no means am saying Jet did not miss his friends. His feelings were real. He just also happens to be a smart kid!! ;))

Another sign of his grieving/stress is the thumb sucking is back. He has also reverted to another "behavior/tic" we had noticed right after meeting him in Thailand. It is not as frequent as it was then, but it definitely indicates some sort of unrest in his sweet soul.

The kid has got to be so confused about our weather!! We had the snow in early Oct. and now we have had above normal temps, not even requiring winter coats!! Truth be told, the munchkin is pretty much always cold though!!

Peanut and Jet continue with their love/hate relationship. Two type A personalities either clashing or joining their abundant energy to overwhelm us type B people! The honeymoon has definitely ended for Peanut yet she still mentions a prayer of thanksgiving for Jet finally coming home. Reigning in her motherly/big sister self is my biggest challenge with her.

Bug has become more assertive and open in his relationship with his brother. Bug and Jet have finally bonded over L*ego and St*r Wa*s. Bug still requires his Sissy time. Jet struggles with the fact his younger brother is bigger than him. Competition and comparison are 2 big struggles for Jet. Also 2 expected struggles for siblings and for a child raised in an orphanage for 8 years, I believe.

I will leave my personal update for another day. Suffice it to say, I have called on a blogging buddy who had offered to talk if I ever needed it. I am admitting I need it, probably did awhile ago. More on that soon. I did say I wanted to share it all and I am convicted of that feeling again. So I will.

I missed blogging. I look forward to sharing.

Stories to tell

2009-10-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

Back at the end of August, beginning of September Jet told me a story about his life in Thailand. At this time, I am unable to remember the first story he told me. However the second one came while we were driving to IL. Papa really didn't believe me when I had told him Jet was relaying something from his time in Thailand. He almost drove off the road when Jet started to tell us a story!!

Bug was telling us about something that scared him. We were talking about it and how God fits into it all. Jet spoke up and said when in Thailand he told his "Moms" about monsters scaring him. He then touched one of the bracelets he came home wearing saying the "Daddies" put it on him because it would keep him safe. I knew what he was telling us, what I was understanding, between his broken English and hand gestures fit with what we knew to be true. When in Thailand I had asked Miss Oh if she knew of the significance of his bracelets/strings. The one he was indicating was only available at a Wat, the monks would be the "Daddies". He went on and on about how they reassured him about the bracelet protecting him along with the particular Buddha they made an offering to.

First, we were amazed at how Jet was able to understand "scared" and relate it to feelings he had in Thailand. Also amazing was his ability to use English words in place of Thai words. Creating a relationship to our God protecting us and Buddha protecting was not what one would expect from an 8 year old who had been speaking our language and heard about God for 4 months either!!

Almost 2 months later the stories continue and have become much more clear as his grasp of the English language grows by leaps and bounds. Even when one wouldn't think that could happen!

We have learned some absolutely wonderful things about his past. It is so great to be able to share in his first 8 years in such a way! He has been able to give us a huge understanding of the Buddha worshiping he was familiar with, different outings he went on, school experiences..... Some of the stories are more difficult to process (accept, not understand), some we are hoping are still a little lost in translation, all best left for our son to keep close to himself and us as his parents.

Last night as we sat down as a family (of 5!!) to watch N*mo, Jet explained to us he had seen it in Thailand with 3D glasses in the movie theater!! With all his friends!! What a hoot!!

Today Bug told me Jet had alot of America in Thailand! Is that a good thing? I am not sure, however it does makes the transition easier for our older adopted children.

We have even moved into a new phase. Jet is now teaching us Thai! Is that not just crazy!! I love it! Tomorrow morning he will be teaching school in the beginning of our day....Peanut, Bug and I will be learning to count to 100 in Thai!! I better go get some sleep~

Sweet dreams!

Winter in October?

2009-10-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

On Sept. 7th we were swimming, boating and hot in IL with our friends.

On Oct. 10th those same friends were in SD for a surprise visit. They were able to see Jet experience his first snow!!

Who would think??!!

Jet has been very anxious for quite some time about when he would get to see snow. We have let him know many times he really didn't want the snow to come yet! I mean really, he can't hold an orange just out of the fridge long enough to peel it or an ice cube tray to get more than one ice cube out!! LOL Snow = COLD

No more than 2 days prior to Saturday Oct.10th, I had talked with Jet, again, emphasizing we wouldn't see snow for about 2 more months. We would have fall, albeit a colder than normal one.

Please don't tell anyone I am to blame for the snow!

I got to make Jet's night twice that night. First, telling him he could finally wear the footed sleeper for bed. He had been waiting for this since we had tried it on in fall!! And second, having him look out the window!! It was a good thing it was a footed sleeper!!

He flew out the door and danced around on the deck with his brother and sister. They tasted snow together and made small snowballs.

He was SO excited!!

There was one small moment of indecision of whether to be excited when he realized the snow might mean he couldn't try his new skateboard he had just received.

No problem......

.....he didn't even stop to take off his knee and elbow pads!! Or helmet!! LOL

A snowman was even built! It was a little wobbly. You know, nobody was willing to make their snowball smaller so each one was the exact.same.size. Oh the competition!!!!

Our house was filled to the brim....4 munchkins, 3 adults, 2 dogs, loud laughter, fun, and lots of love!!

It was simply put...priceless. We are so blessed.

Jet's Best Friend needs prayers

2009-10-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

In April 2008 we received a new video of Jet from when our agency had traveled there in March. We, naturally, could hardly wait to watch it. Imagine our surprise when it started and we were able to see our son playing with another little boy! We had full view of the boy our son was playing ball with. (Unheard of in the pc, privacy controlled US)

It was such a treat to see him interacting with another child and the giggling laughter from these two was pure joy!!

Then we found out it was his best friend who was also coming to America!!

At that time, we were told the boys were kept together at the babies home rather than having to move to the boys home. One less move for them since they had families that would be coming to get them! We were thrilled. We also learned the boys had been told they had families in America. It was explained to us this was not the norm, individuals within the orphanage were very excited for the boys and told them. Ordinarily, it seems the children are given much less "notice".

Jet knew for 14 months he had a family in America. His best friend is still waiting.....20 months after he heard the great news.

Yes, I said 20 months.

And his family in America has been in process to bring him home for well over 2 years now.

Mark and Shawna recently received some news that rocked their world and is leaving this adoption completely up in the air. There is a possibility their son is not considered "adoptable". They along with their 2 beautiful daughters, age 9 and 11, and 3 grown children, are grappling with this news. Trying desperately to understand the reasons behind all this wait and uncertainty.

God's hand has been on this adoption all along. They first spotted this young boy in Thailand 3 years ago. Yet they felt led down a different path towards their next child. After the door closed on that path, a new photo album was delivered and that young boy was still waiting....It was a full year later. Another door had been opened. They knew he was the one.

We have met this little boy. He turned 8 this past summer. He is a delightful, smiley, energetic, finger-snapping little boy! He loves to ride bikes and his favorite color is pink. Those are 2 tidbits I learned from Jet.

He is my son's best friend. Jet is well aware he has a family here in America. In fact today, out of the blue, Jet said, "I can't wait till my friend comes to America". I didn't need to ask who he was talking about but I asked anyway. I was right. My heart ached at that moment.

I call him their son, as he will always be their son. No matter what.

Please, please pray for Mark and Shawna, Marina and Alexis, for peace and strength in this wait. Pray for those in Thailand acting on behalf of this little boy, that God may slip the necessary documents/evidence in place. Pray for this little boy, for an understanding in his heart. That he may know HIS FAMILY WANTS HIM VERY MUCH.

Thank you for taking this family into your hearts, thoughts and prayers. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. I wish they lived close by, so I could hug Shawna on a daily basis. I know I would need it by now. Actually, I would have needed it a long time ago. Also I did have permission to use their names in my blog.

May God bless you all~

Precious Life

2009-10-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

The sign reading "Adoption- The Loving Choice" is so poignant in the hands of my children.

Today we took part in an activity in support of respecting life. In doing so I am brought face to face with the reminder that my children grew in another Mama's tummy. And I am a Mama because they are, too. They chose what they thought would be the best choice for their child. They will always be a mother regardless of whether they went on to have other children or not.

I can't stand there with my 3 Asian children and not think about the fact they would not be here, in this world, if their birth mothers had not chosen life. In countries, in life situations where it would have been so much easier to make a different choice. I am brought to my knees as I pray for all life to be allowed to live as I realize my life would not be what it is. I can't help but pray for God to bless these women in unimaginable ways for the HUGE blessings I have been given. I pray they might know God and be comforted with their choice.

For us, it is an obvious answer to our children when they question the facts of their adoption, when they wonder why she didn't "want" him/her. Society dictated certain things where our children were born. (Like extreme poverty for an unwed mother and child, no likelihood of a marriage for the mother or son, etc...) But....

She made the choice to give life to the baby growing inside her.

She wanted her child to simply be. They were chosen, first by her and secondly by us.

And there will never be enough thank yous or words to express to our child's birthmother(s). Though their ages may not be far from mine, I feel an almost motherly instinct towards them. I want to know how they are doing, where they are in their life now, to take care of them, let them know how their precious gifts are doing. And at times, thinking about the fact I will more than likely never get to do that this side of heaven is just too much.

So till then....... thank you and may God bless you~ you are loved and cherished by God and by us.

Home 5 months

2009-10-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

I can't even believe we have been home that long!

There are times Jet feels like he has been a part of our family forever. Then there are moments when it all feels brand new.

Jet's language skills continue to improve. He works so hard at pronouncing words. It is fascinating to me, having done infant and older child adoptions from different Asian countries,
the sounds present in our English language that the Asian mouth has difficulty making. My infant adoptions were at 4.5 and 5 months. It seems to me it would be in the development of their mouths in the womb, hereditary, which makes it difficult to produce those sounds. Jet watches my mouth so carefully, diligently trying over and over again to produce a sound like mine. His grasp of the English language is awe-inspiring, even grasping emotions, being able to relate it to Thailand and how he experienced the same emotion there.

I have noticed the last week or two, however, Jet relies on his brother and sister to give answers. He jumps in on the last few words making it seem as if he had the same answer! In a way it has given a false sense of his understanding. I am working to ensure his true understanding by questioning him directly, alternating between them all.

Jet eats well, has gained 3 or 4 lbs (much needed) and still sleeps well. One thing I have noticed is there is only 2 times in the past 5 months where Jet has told me he is hungry. I am not sure it is a feeling he is use to, or having someone willing/able to do anything about it.

We continue to work on knowing when we have to use the bathroom. Shortly after IL, he was talking about his stomach hurting and I suggested he go in and sit. He did and afterward relayed the whole story back to me--my stomach hurt, Mama said go sit on potty, I did and my stomach doesn't hurt anymore! Huge smiles and excitement!! I was able to explain when he had that feeling he needed to go. In the last week or so he has known 2x on his own it was time to go!! Progress!

I think this last month or so has been hardest on myself. I feel like parenting is a whole new ball game and I am not playing the game very well. Peanut and Bug were incredibly close siblings, very rarely arguing. In retrospect, I truly had no idea what sibling rivalry was. The "I want to do it, it's my turn, he is always first, etc....", along with the tattletale-ing has been new for me to adjust to and for us to figure out how to parent.

I have also had a difficult time feeling comfortable explaining myself to anyone. We wanted to have kids, a "big" family. We struggle to have these children and to be parents, how dare we feel anything other than excitement, happiness in our new situation. It feels contradictory to the waiting phase where all we could think about was getting our child home. It is a blessing, we are thrilled yet like any parent growing their family, we have struggles.

We ARE so blessed to be a family of five!

Saint Mama?

2009-09-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

When we say are night time prayers we ask each family members "name" saint to pray for us. Since there is no Saint Megan, I have chosen St. Anne (Mary's mother). We have a few other saints we include so it isn't a straight 5, which makes it less straight forward for him. Last night after going through the list there was a pause and Jet speaks up "What about Saint Mama?" LOL

She's definitely not in this house!!!!!!!!!!!!

But thanks for thinking of me, buddy! I cherish the innocent inquiries and his earnest attempts to understand and be a part of our family. I am so thankful he is comfortable enough to say what is on his mind!

Vacation--too soon?

2009-09-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

(Make sure you hit play 2x, once on this page, then again when the screen comes up to start the slideshow!)

We had a great time, definitely. I hadn't put too much thought into how it was going to be for Jet to go. Papa and I had talked a couple of times about it, things we knew to watch for in regards to attachment, etc.... It was a trip we had to go on for a variety of reasons and it was an opportunity for family to meet Jet.

From the start, though Jet was confused as to where we were going, how long to get there and the weather, he never exhibited his previous signs of being nervous/anxious/uncertain. He was hesitant and shy when meeting new people at first. Very normal behavior and a good sign, I believe. However, he was able to see his brother and sister interacting and seemed to fit right in.

The first part of the trip was family centered and busy with the 90th birthday party. We did take the 5 cousins for a photo shoot at the Pic*ure People which turned out fantastic! We had two 8 year olds, one 6 year old and 2 15 month olds!! So much fun, I look forward to posting a few once we hit our 6 month mark for Jet!

As you saw in the slideshow, the 2nd couple of days was at a friend's house which is very resort-like. Papa hadn't been back to IL in 5 years so he hadn't seen "L"'s new digs. Our kids combined with "Z" are safe with many options of things to do. Our munchkins have known L their whole life and are comfortable with her. She enjoys being with them, so it is easy for me to feel "off" and let them go to her. I realized shortly into the 2nd day Jet was becoming too comfortable with L and disregarding us. Peanut and Bug know what Mama and Papa have for rules and expectations still stands but that isn't something Jet could have known, let alone understood. Thankfully, it did come to my attention and I started to pull Jet back to me and Papa, insisting he come to us for things, hold our hands when necessary, etc...

As a side note, vacation is a difficult thing to explain, let alone one Jet had ever heard before. Usual chores are different or non-existant, different parenting is exhibited if other kids are involved, no routine, often more activities planned, lifestyle differences....So many things you don't realize when your other children have grown up with those differences, as they are in EVERY family, knowing that every family is unique. We have answered a few questions along the way but for the most part, it just IS.

For a child, who has one experience of a family/home in the US (or anywhere for that matter!), such a change can be confusing/overwhelming! And though his language skills are incredible, there are some things that aren't able to be explained in a way he can grasp.

Had we spent enough time trying to explain vacation? Did we do enough planning of what we needed to do, what our family/friends needed to not do? It is hard to think of EVERY scenario, each moment of what MIGHT happen.

What did happen I don't think I would have ever come up with in my mind as a scenario. No matter how much thinking I put into it.

Jet knew what state we lived in, we had used a map of America to show where our state was, where we were going, what states we would drive through and we had discussed we would be heading back home. Home and our state were two words we had used many times since Jet came home. We thought they were fairly solid in his understanding.

Leaving went off without a hitch. We had to stop by Papa's family one last time for a quick visit. Then the long ride back through the same states. We stopped at the same exit/restaurant/gas station. (For no reason other than we are creatures of habit!) Our emphasis was on home and our state. We arrived, unloaded the car and drove to return our rented car, picking up our car along the way. It was at a stop on the way home (again) when Jet fell apart. I was asking him a question and when I turned to look at him, I saw the tears glistening in his eyes. I opened up the flood gates by asking what was wrong. He sobbed and sobbed for a little while until he was able to choke out he liked Aunt L's house. He listed all the really fun things to do there as why he liked it and wanted to be there. I did my best to explain we all liked it, it wasn't like that every single day, Z didn't get to do that everyday, fall and snow were coming there too, and we would go back next year.

For a few days after I was told "I can't wait to go back to IL, I like Aunt L, I like Aunt L's house"...alot. Jet has had more melancholy episodes since returning and has been ATTACHED to my side. He has been like a bear on honey when he realizes I am on the phone with L. Jet has become more picky about things in our house, comparing it to L's house. He has become more assertive in things he WANTS, expecting to get them, like food choices, doing activities, not doing chores.

Some of those things could be related to regular family life adjusting, I realize, however the situations do present in similarity to our time in IL.

2 steps forward, 10 steps back...isn't that how the saying goes!! Or at least close! We enjoyed our time, no doubt! We had beautiful unexpected nice weather. Family and friends met our new son and we got to meet new nieces! New memories made! Lessons learned!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Yes, it is Papa singing, playing guitar and a song he wrote on the Smilebox!!

Daddies in Training

2009-09-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

When Jet first came home his idea of play with a doll was throwing it down and all around. It didn't take long for him to catch on and the other day when Bug was getting Tracey in her carrier, Jet wanted to do the same!! I am going to make him a black one this weekend to match one I use with my daycare infants. Good training for the future!!

Vacation was good, too soon for Jet though. Writing that now.

Road Trip

2009-09-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

It is crazy to get ready to be out of town for 1 week with 5 people. How is it one 45 lb. child makes a difference I don't know! Just more!!

It is INSANE to take 3 children on a 10 hour car ride. One with minimum understanding of "10 hours".

We left the house, with everything but the kitchen sink, and made 2 quick drive thru stops. Upon stopping to grab pizza for lunch in the car, Jet said "Illinois?". (Our destination)

Our concenus was Miss Oh did a GREAT job translating to Jet how long our flights home were going to be home from Thailand. Us, not so much, in preparing for this trip!!

Peanut and Bug forgot since last year how to travel! I have made this trip at least once every year with them as we have family and friends here. Last year was great. This year Peanut basically asked every hour what time it was, as she knew what time we estimated to arrive. Bug talked about being restless and are we there yet constantly.

Can you even imagine if we had taken them to Thailand!?!! I assumed they would be great travelers as they have been in the past. It would have been one long flight!!

We are here for Papa's grandma. She turns 90 today! Big celebration happening on Saturday. Papa hasn't seen his family in 3 years.

Off to celebrate!!

Name Game

2009-08-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

When looking into older child adoption I found stories of kids who wanted an American name and others keeping their given name from birth. Papa and I knew we wanted to give Jet an American name combined with his Thai name for his new name. He had a nickname we liked and his Thai name was a fairly easy to pronounce name, so we felt comfortable with encouraging him to have a say in his name. We especially felt this way as the adoption time frame stretched out and we were bringing home an 8 year old instead of a 6 year old.

In Thailand (and at home before travel) we used Jet's Thai name and nickname. If I remember correctly Miss Oh did ask us if we were giving him an American name and I am fairly certain she did mention it to him. But we never discussed it there. We had more important things to discuss, like potty etiquette!!

Once at home I used Jet's American name with his Thai name as his middle name when calling the kids sporadically. I am a full name kind of Mama. My munchkins get called by their first and middle names often. So it fit. And I used it as an explanation for him. Bug and Peanut have part of their Korean name in their middle names so it was fairly easy for him to grasp.

We had spent 20 months calling Jet by his Thai name, it was a hard habit to break. And quite honestly, Papa and I had never sat right down and said we felt it had to be done one way or the other. We had time and felt Jet had choices. We simply made him aware we had chosen an American name for him.

After we had been home about 7 weeks or so the munchkins and I went to a musical performed by dancers from Peanut's dance studio. We ran into a family from our home school group we hadn't seen since returning home. My friend was introducing one of her son's to Jet and I leaned down to Jet and said can you tell him your name? Jet immediately said his American name! I was stunned. I hadn't yet thought to put the question to him. It hadn't seemed like enough time had gone by to me!

Shortly after that we were getting ready to attend a 4th of July party and I sat Jet down and asked him what he wanted to be called. He chose his American name and said he wanted us to call him that too. So that was how he was introduced.

Some of us in our family are better at using his American name. Bug calls him by his Thai name almost exclusively. Papa uses his nickname the most. Peanut and I use his American name.

In typical toddler fashion, Jet uses his name when referring to himself as he is at that stage in learning the English language. He uses his American name. Except when talking about his time in Thailand. He uses his Thai name then. It is honestly quite funny. He will change the name if he gets confused and says the "wrong" name. The first time he used his Thai name when talking about himself in Thailand I was quite surprised!

He answers to all and doesn't get upset about any name he is called.

Just a little over 2 months left and we can let you know what his name is and show you a picture!! Can't wait!!

Western Style

2009-08-19T21:02:00.001-07:00

A topic I had not given much thought to at all was potty time. And the differences between the states and Thailand. I put plenty of thought and concern into my needing to use the bathroom there considering I do everything to NOT use a public bathroom here. But I never thought much past "how do you say bathroom in Thai" for our new son.

About 1 week prior to traveling to bring Jet home, it hit me, Jet would be standing! I had stuck with the non-messy sitting down method with Bug. He is an easily distracted kid and I simply didn't want to deal with it. (Terrible, I know!) YIKES! I wasn't sure how ready I was for the "big boy way" from a little boy.

That was more MY problem..... still not much thought on the differences and communicating those differences with our language barriers.

Jet's reaction to the western style toilet in the bathroom was our first inkling this was going to be an adventure! I was SO thankful Papa was the favorite at these times, for sure!! It was a mix of peaked interest and of being terrified.

We quickly realized Jet never asked to use the bathroom. He would go for hours and hours. I am assuming there was a set schedule for everything at the orphanage. The caretakers, quite frankly, would not be able to get anything else done if they took each child when they needed to go. Way too many children and not enough caretakers. Plus Thailand is a country that uses the elimination communication type method. After a few days he began to initiate needing to go on his own at times. Yeah! This was pretty easy, huh?!

Since I wasn't the one assisting with the bathroom time it took a couple of days for us to realize (ok, for me to ask!) he wasn't sitting to do anything. If you catch my drift! ;)) He must have had one uncomfortable tummy by this point, poor guy!

Jet had no desire to sit on this western style toilet and our hotel had HUGE toilets, too. I couldn't blame him too much as his tiny Thai bottom was LOST on it! And I will add for the benefit of others adopting older children, a different method is used which doesn't use toilet paper. So that needs to be taught as well. Jet was NOT thrilled with this concept.

Jet seemed to have NO idea when he needed to take time to sit and go. He still only seldom is aware of the need. I have to try and keep track and remind him. A couple of weeks ago I realized he will use our Thai version "hong nam" for a quick visit and use of American "potty" if he is going to "sit"! LOL I have to work hard to remember this because I will often tell the kids to go potty before we are leaving the house. That gives Jet cause to stop and look at me with a questioning face!

I assume the method used to potty train is the cause of him not knowing/realizing the signs telling him to go. Not regularly going and the change in diet has created some uncomfortable situations for all involved. In Thailand, I would typically need to leave the hotel room for the duration of time needed and here at home, nobody likes to go near the bathroom for awhile after. TMI??!! Just keeping it real!

On another subject, thank you very much for the prayers and kind words about Papa's job. He had an interview this evening for a job he would LOVE to do. It is with his company, but a long shot. We are down to 2 weeks and I had panic set in this evening. I had been doing well, knowing it was in God's hands and He knew this was going to happen. And He has a plan. It is so easy though to let fear and doubt creep in, allowing despair to take over. We know despair is not of God, however. When searching through my Bible, I came upon this--

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9

After reading this chapter and specifically these verses over and over again, something seeped in to my heart and soul. It is in my weakness, my despair, that I am at my best with God. When I allow myself to cry out to Him, He gives me everything I need. It is so easy to go about our daily hectic lives, hopefully remembering to give Him some time. Yet it is in that moment, that time of crying out, I am reminded He is in charge of my life and that is EXACTLY as it should be.

Absence & Prayers

2009-08-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay on posting here. Last Thursday we received word Papa's entire division is being eliminated. 30 days notice. Papa has worked for the same company for over 8 years. We have great benefits and an adoption reimbursement after Jet is finalized. He isn't to be finalized till December.

Rocked our world, even though we know the economy is in trouble. Praying hard it doesn't rock our adoption too much. We will be contacting our agency tomorrow.

We are praying another area of the company will be able to offer him a place. If you could join us in that pray we would appreciate it.

Will post again later tonight about adoption.

Food Fancy

2009-08-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I would give an update on the food, eating situation for Jet. I am going to give more detail for others who are venturing down a similar path to us.

A description of the food served at the orphanage-- We received a definition as well as saw 2 lunches being served. It is a clear broth with pork balls or chicken, thai veggies, and chinese noodles or noodles. They are served a bowl of rice after that with taro, mango or banana.(or just rice)

Take out stock in chicken broth!! My best piece of advice!!

When we first arrived home, I made quite a few stir-fry's, fried rice and pad thai meals. All were well received, I thought. Then Jet had a tummy problem (tomorrow's post!) and I went out and got chicken broth to make soup. It was the first time Jet said "good" without being asked if he liked it! Well, duh!! Our version of soup--broth, rice, chicken, carrots--is what he ate everyday, three meals a day.

It has become quite comical because every time I have a whole chicken out, he points and says with hope in his voice, "soup"!! (I tend to cook a few whole chickens at once, then pick the meat off to use in recipes)

Jet had definite dislikes in the beginning. Macaroni and cheese, peanut butter, sandwiches, oatmeal, beef of any kind, mexican food, strawberries....to name a few.

One thing to point out, I know the baby books say to try something many times before knowing if they really don't like it. I equate the process with Jet over the last 3 months, in many parts of development, to be similar to a baby/toddler's. Only on mega steroids!! The process, that is, not Jet!

He now loves macaroni and cheese, doesn't gag on his oatmeal and finds peanut butter tolerable.
He doesn't grumble about sandwiches but still prefers chicken and turkey to beef.

Soup still does reign as best!!

A side note, the soup is eaten with a spoon and a fork. Actually, Jet likes to eat most anything with both utensils. And they use them at the same time! Not one and then the other. For a while after we got home, Jet wouldn't use both. I assumed it was because his siblings didn't. However, in the last few days, he has gone back to eating that way.

When we first had Jet join us in Thailand it was obvious he was expected to eat what was on his plate. Being unfamiliar with quantities and wanting him to try new things, we had to pay close attention to whether he liked something or not. We always had something we were fairly sure he would like as well.

Papa worked to get Jet to understand he didn't have to completely clear his plate. Papa would exaggerate full by leaning back in his chair, patting his stomach and say full. Near the end of our time in Thailand Jet leaned back in his chair, patted his stomach and said FULL!! We laughed till we were crying!

And when I say clear his plate, I mean clear his plate. He will literally eat every little kernel of corn, piece of rice, noodle, not leaving anything on his plate. He still does, unless it is something he is not fond of.

We did go through a phase where he thought he could say no thank you to something that was being served. LOL

I can count on one hand how many times Jet has asked me for something to eat. He still isn't too confident with full and hungry. He did wai in the beginning each time we would offer him something to eat in between meal times.

The orphanage gave us a bunch of boxes of milk to take with us. They were soy and cow milk. We have many allergies in our house so we have all kinds of milk--goat, cow, rice, soy and almond. His favorite is the rice milk, vanilla flavored.

We do very very little soda and the bubbles drive him crazy! He is a very fast drinker and that is uncomfortable with fizz.

Hope this helps plan for some easier transitions in your house!! Any questions ask!

Who will?

2009-08-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

Who will answer for these children? Harry Holt said this after helping to bury an orphan child in S. Korea.

I have never been able to get this out of my heart. Our first 2 adoptions were through Holt International. I read their stories over 9 years ago, while waiting for our first child. It is a driving force in continuing to pinch pennies, drive older cars, not have cable and more.

It is even more relevant to me today after having been to the orphanage 3 months ago. I know one day I will stand before my Lord to answer for my life. I hope to be able to say I have answered for these children in every way I felt you wanted me to, Lord.

Thai, Latin and English....Oh My!!

2009-07-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

Our munchkins have been attending a summer program at our church this week.

Last night, I am listening to Jet and Bug play and think I hear him saying something that sounds like Latin. Part of a Latin song we sing at Mass. But I am quite sure I am just hearing things. I listen again, more closely.

Peanut is sitting next to me and starts to giggle. She proceeds to tell me they are learning the songs we sing in Latin at Mass!! And I wasn't hearing things, Jet was singing it!

Then all 3 broke out in song....

Agnus Dei, qui tolis peccata mundi miserere nobis.

They are having a blast!!

And Jet is fitting right in. In fact a few of the leaders didn't even realize he hadn't been in the country very long until I said something the second morning!! (His teacher did know)

Bug and his best friend have enveloped Jet right into the fold. When John Paul asked for us to get together, he said Bug and Jet's names!! Made my heart feel good. Such a sweet boy!

Thanks for letting me share!!

Lost in translation

2009-07-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

There are two situations we haven't been able to really explain or help Jet to grasp with English, Thai or gesturing.

The first is a touchy subject for any of us in our house. Since we had just lost our Sam right before traveling to Thailand, we are still grieving. Quite frankly, we still have up and down moments in regards to it. We have pictures around and haven't been able to get rid of his toys/bones.

Jet is very interested in dogs and loves to hug my sister's dog, Daisy. He naturally has looked at pictures and looked to me with questioning eyes. I know we have been able to help him understand Sam use to be here with us, live inside our house, didn't bite and those were his toys. But I do not know what he thinks happened to Sam. I have not had the words to explain why we are at times in tears about Sam. Why Bug prefers we don't talk about Sam in front of him. Jet at times, seems concerned and I am unable to give him an understanding. That is difficult for us both.

The second subject is a personal one for me. I am a plus size gal, to put it bluntly. Recently Jet saw a picture of me at my Grandma's from my HS senior year. Years before PCOS ravaged my body. He gestured with his hands indicating small to big while puffing out his cheeks. Lovely. I simply smiled and gave the "God makes everybody a different size, shape and color" comment. One or two more times here at home he has made similar gestures and I have responded the same as well. I don't want to discourage him from expressing his thoughts but do feel uncomfortable. Then he did it while waiting in line at the post office a day ago. Obviously, I am aware he means no harm by it. And I know he doesn't have a grasp on our words for inappropriate, hurts feelings, for me to let him know why not to do it. Difficult for me as I already struggle being comfortable in my skin.

We knew there would be times we would struggle with the language barrier and I must say it has been so much easier than expected!! Just a few of the quirky times I thought I would share!!

Blessings~

Why??

2009-07-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgxVIB2WuHU

Why? Why?? Why would someone consider making a movie about orphans, depicting such ugly things on CHILDREN who have already suffered huge losses in their little lives.

How is Hollywood accepting such trash when it is so "popular" to adopt among the stars? Is it different because they are adopting babies or toddlers? Or different because it would never happen to them? They could never have a child who has been hurt so badly by others in their life, they are no longer able to "feel".

I am now not just an adoptive Mom, I am the mom to an 8 year old who joined our family about 2 1/2 months ago. MONTHS. He was over 8 when he came home. The child depicted in this movie is 9 years old. I am outraged to say the least.

I am so angry with a society that would allow movie makers to even THINK a movie such as this one would be profitable. We should be making Warner Bros very aware of how deplorable this movie is to all. Each and every member of our families should be outraged for their nieces, nephews, cousins, grandkids, kids, children who are adopted. All the people party to the making of this movie should be bombarded with mail from the adoptive community.

Truly it is trash, even if you aren't personally touched by adoption. There aren't many people nowadays NOT touched by adoption personally. So you might say it is more common place/acceptable to adopt so the movie is "no biggie". So NOT true!

Infant adoption is much more acceptable today. Toddler adoption is starting to be more commonplace but older child adoption is still filled with horror stories. The few you can find. It happens rarely and is talked about even less. This movie will sure change that! All the negative stereotypes will be rearing their ugly heads squashing any positive voices that are trying to cry out for these children.

I love adoption. I wouldn't be a mother without it.

Thanks be to God, I am now a strong advocate for older child adoption.

I have been to the orphanage. I have seen a few of the 143 million orphans searching for a home. I have had them reach out and clutch my arm, shirt, purse, as soon as I get close enough. So happy to see and touch a fellow friend's new mom. Not even their Mom, another child's mom. I have looked at a group of 36 cottage mates standing before me, smiling and giggling, wiggling with excitement. As I silently count them, the math makes me even sadder. See, I know only 59 children came HOME to their families in the US in 2008 from Thailand. I know there are other countries involved but it still leaves alot of numbers behind. Except it isn't numbers to me. It is faces and eyes.

These are the faces being hurt again by such a film being produced and shown. To prejudice a society against considering giving these children a family.

Please watch the trailer as seen. It opens tomorrow, July 24th. Please please consider boycotting Warner Bros. And let them and all those involved in this film know your feelings.

Not attending the film isn't enough. More must be done.

For the children left behind. The faces I will NEVER forget.

Inspiring Grace

2009-07-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

We were out shopping the other day and Peanut announces to me she loves telling people about her brother. Her new brother. I asked her why. (Isn't it great to be able to turn that one on them after answering why a million times when they were younger!!)

She said it is inspiring. She wants to inspire people. So more kiddos have a family. Because there are some million (143 million) orphans in the world. And less than 5% over the age of 5 will be adopted. And that's not right.

Be inspired. I am.

Peanut with much loved Great Grandma

All in a heartbeat

2009-07-15T19:33:00.000-07:00

I believe it is crucial for babies to be just that, a baby. To be loved, cherished, cared for, picked up when crying, consoled, held for a bottle, rocked, hugged, snuggled, kissed. To experience that gentle touch, soft body to snuggle, close feeling of being held, soft blanket to hold, things that are familiar. Things that create security and allow an infant/toddler to be calm, feel loved and safe.

Did you know a newborn baby knows their Mother's heartbeat from being in the womb and is comforted by that same heartbeat on the outside of the womb? But if an adoption plan is made for them, they never hear that familiar heartbeat again. Instead they hear a different heartbeat, or two or three or a different heartbeat each time they are picked up.

One of my munchkins had the birth mother's heartbeat, first foster mother, hospital nurse heartbeats for a week, second foster mother, travel escort and then me. All in a matter of 5 months.

Jet missed the first eight years of "normal" infant/toddler experiences. That sense of security and familiarity. That is alot of different heartbeats.

I had gone through 2 infant adoptions without much knowledge of the attachment part. Nine years ago very little was shared or talked about related to attachment in adoption, particularly in infant adoption. What a shame that was and continues to be, with such a small focus on the losses infants experience. I know now the mistakes made with our first child and the consequences there are for that lack of knowledge. I was very determined to do what I could to set Jet off on the right foot.

Allowing him to be my baby/toddler in as many ways as possible was what I set out to do.

Most suggestions I read about in books were targeted for the toddler adoptions. If my son wanted to lay in my arms and have a bottle that would have been fine, however with a 6 and 8 year old in the home, I couldn't imagine the new 8 year old would even think about it.

I knew we would snuggle, I would hold him in the crook of my arm like I did my babies and still do with Peanut and Bug, I would sing to him, I would apply lotion for the touch, I would find opportunities to feed him, ensure we were the only ones to offer food for a long time, keep him close by, help him with daily skills even if he could do them on his own.

But I felt like something more tangible was needed. Something that would always be there to remind him he WAS able to experience baby/toddler time with his mom and dad. To heal that loss he had experienced. Peanut and Bug are both still blankie kids so I got Jet a baby blanket. We took it to Thailand with us so he would have it from the start.

As a side note, I was very bothered by the idea we would be leaving even the clothes he had on at the orphanage. I knew it was very important to have that one familiar thing and to not wash the clothes right away so they could have the familiar smell as well. I thought the blanket could serve for both. As it turns out, he did not have to change his clothes.

I had the blanket ready for the first night and made sure it was with him every night since then. He showed no real interest in it until about 2 weeks ago. Then boom! His baby blanket has become very important to him and goes all around the house. He asks to take it in the car with us, reads with it and snuggles it at night. I quite frankly have yet to wash it either!

I am so thankful he has taken to the blanket and I feel it is playing a small role in his healing the past losses he has experienced. I would highly recommend using something like this if adopting an older child!

Jet

2009-07-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

Jet's vocabulary is astounding! He is able to use sentences and understands so many things you tell him. He started saying "hey" about 50 times an hour, so at dinner tonight when he said it again, I made a comment. I somewhat seriously and somewhat teasingly mentioned we needed to work on not saying "hey" so much. I really wasn't sure if he would completely understand me. A couple of minutes later he is in the middle of a sentence and says "hey", then claps his hand over his mouth, giggles and says "sorry"! We all busted out laughing, but he got it!

Some of our more fun word mishaps--

"Mama, here's milk!" Shouted to me from the foyer while he had been playing outside. Took me a minute.....it was the mail!!

His arms in a muscleman pose after moving something--"MUSTARD" with lots of pride in his voice!! After a moment of confusion--MUSCLES!!

The wonder Jet shows for all things continues to keep us all more wonder-filled. It makes you stop and smell the flowers so much more and remember to thank God for all the many blessings in your life. I was running to our grocery store recently with Peanut and Jet. I was not looking forward to the trip and as I pulled into the parking lot, Jet lets out this "AWESOME". He was so excited to be going there!

It is so fun to hear "awesome" in a Thai accent! It is another favorite word. Bug says it alot so now Jet does too.

Foods Jet didn't like before are now enjoyed, some of them. Mac and Cheese is good as is oatmeal. Peanut butter is still not. He really enjoys helping in the kitchen. Actually he likes to help everywhere. He voluntarily comes up and asks if he can help quite often with many tasks.

He is rather proud of the fact he is no longer freezing cold all the time! Just wait till our winters come, sweetie!!

We have days of struggle, sadness was very evident a day or two ago. Even Peanut came up to me and said she thought he seemed sad. I used our Thai book to show him the word sad. I was saddened by the fact he didn't know the word sad in Thai. But he needs to know it in English? We just keep loving each other.

In the mail today we received about 40 or so Thai/English books I had ordered. I wish I could have captured the smile on his face when I showed him the books! He was so excited and so proud tonight when he read the bedtime story to Peanut and Bug. I love to sit and listen to him speak in Thai.

I realized something while listening. He speaks in this quiet gentle voice. We thought he was shy with his voice and his English and had been asking him to speak louder. Why is it we are so loud? I am going to work on the other 4 of us being quieter and more gentle in our sounds. It sounds so much nicer!

Jet no longer sucks his thumbs at night. His sores are gone. Quite honestly, that happened rather quickly, I am so amazed. A good sign of attachment!!

We are so thrilled Jet is home! We are very blessed to have this boy as our son and thank God he is home where he belongs!!

"Only" American

2009-07-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

One of the many facets of adoption I have spent time thinking about is the name given to international adoptees. This 4th of July gave cause for me to think and re-think my position on this subject.

Korean-American, Thai-American, Chinese-American.......

Our first 2 munchkins were born in S. Korea and were placed in our arms at 4.5 and 5 months. Our children have tan skin, almond shaped eyes and jet black hair. They are Americans. They have been raised Americans, even though we incorporate their Korean culture into our lives. We live in America. I have not understood the need for one to say Korean-American, etc... We are all American citizens, regardless of our nationality, and I have felt it is something that actually works to divide us as a people. We have chosen to live in the United States of America as Americans. It simply feels like a division, showing and creating a difference where it doesn't seem necessary to have one.

I mean, our children are Asian. Papa and I are not. Papa has black hair and olive colored skin but me? Not so much. In fact, I am a glow-in-the-dark kind of white gal! It is fairly evident upon seeing us as a family we are multiracial. Yet why must there be that separation? They are OUR children, our sons and daughter. They simply could not be more ours had they come from my womb. We became family and each of them an American citizen when a judge declared it so. (Really it was before that but you know what I mean!)

I do not mean this to say it is not important they were born in S. Korea. I do not have any desire to deny their start in life. We discuss their birth country, birth family, customs and traditions of S. Korea. Our munchkins celebrate all 5 of our nationalities with art like this:

(For your reference, 2 S. Korea flags, 1 Thailand, 1 German and 1 Poland flag)

I end up feeling like we are being asked to separate our children from us by stating the rather obvious Asian-American or Korean-American. There are so many moments and times we have to differentiate our relationship to our children because they are adopted. I don't feel it necessary to add to it.

It is Jet's situation that made me start thinking about this conundrum.

He lived a Thai life for a little over 8 years. 8 years. He experienced the culture, food, Buddhism, traditions.....He speaks, reads and writes Thai. He has piles of pictures from his first 8 years in Thailand. His friends and caretakers were all Thai. All of them "like" him.

By saying he is an American instead of Thai-American does that "remove" the Thai life from him. Would we be saying his first 8 years living in Thailand weren't important? Yet he is OUR son. He will become an American citizen in just a few short months. Could we be saying to him "you aren't a full American" by including the Thai?

As a parent, we want to do the best for our children. Adoption adds an extra element of circumstances where you feel the need to proceed with caution. Each child is different in the way they will connect with their birth country and what it means for them.

It feels like we live in a world where everyone struggles to be "better", noticed, more important than the next person. That can only cause division and conflict.

It seems to me like it should be really pretty simple. We are Americans living together in the United States of America.

One nation. Under God.

We are all blessed to live in a country where we are free to live our life, incorporating our nationalities, beliefs, customs and traditions. God bless the U.S.A.!!

Some may agree and some may disagree with my views. Please respect that and be kind in the comments. I do appreciate good healthy discussions that makes one think.

1st Post placement

2009-07-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

TWO MONTHS have flown by!!!!!!! Can you even believe we had our first of 3 visits? We LOVE our social worker! We have literally known her for 9 years. She has done all 3 of our home studies and post placement visits. Papa and I were talking today afterward saying we can't imagine doing this with another SW'er! We decided we will have to ask her if she is up for another go around if we are!! She is amazing!

Now, if you don't know the story, this dear woman had to do our HS quite a few times to get it all Hague approved. And they went over it with a FINE tooth comb since we were WACAP's first Hague family for Thailand and second total!

Here is a pic of our SW'er with Peanut at her first post placement visit May 2001. Sorry about the quality, it is a scanned in picture! Peanut is not quite 5 months here!

Doesn't she look loke someone who LOVES her job!! May God bless you, BP, for all the children you have helped over the years!!

Most adventurous?

2009-07-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Papa had to do a bio bit about himself at work this week to present on a teleconference. I haven't seen it, however I did email him some pics at work one night to use. One was of the 3 kids.

This teleconference included people from all over the country. It was well received. The last category to respond to was "tell us something no one would know about you". One of Papa's unknown facts was he had traveled to Thailand to bring home his son.

The director was making comments to Papa and asked him what he thought most adventurous about the trip.

Well, let's see........

We went to Thailand. Well, it is a global company, though many at his site have never even flown in an airplane. So no that's not it....

We went to Thailand, a place with beautiful beaches. True, but we weren't able to GO to the beach so best not to use that one.......

We live in the rural midwest. In a town of 130,000, the biggest town in the state. Enough said! But adventurous??

We don't speak Thai, culture shock, food changes.... Potentially overwhelming but most adventurous?

Oh, wait.....

We flew to Thailand and came home with an 8 year old son! Yes, THAT must be it, definitely most adventurous part!!

Neither one of us can imagine what else would be an answer to that question! I mean he DID have a picture of the kids!! LOL

Our Struggles

2009-07-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, does time fly!

Our struggles here come and go. Each day brings new experiences for everyone. We have been spending alot of time working on individual relationships.

Peanut and Bug have never been very competitive with each other. It is something we worked hard at, like we play games to have fun with each other, not just to win. They have never been the type to challenge each other alot or to constantly struggle to be first.

It creates a different environment when there is a strong desire/need to be first or to always be looking to be the winner. I feel the atmosphere becomes more tense and that became hard for Peanut, Bug and myself. We all started to crack.

I will admit I did not anticipate not being first to be an issue. Jet came from an orphanage. He could not have been the first every time! Jet also struggles with a need for personal space that I didn't see as a problem because of living in an orphanage. It is a two-fold though, because he doesn't have a problem with invading YOUR personal space but prefers to have his own personal space left alone.

Bug is a very laid back kid. He has struggled more than I anticipated from the changes. Mostly from having to share his sister. He did start last week to be very bothered by the fact he was always last. Jet and Peanut were getting along well and would forget to include him.

Peanut has been an incredible big sister to Jet. She has been forgiving, helpful, generous and patient. Last week she momentarily lost her ability to tolerate all when the increased language skills brought out some not so nice words. Peanut is a spirited child who reacts dramatically to most everything. Fortunately, she only shared her thoughts with me, not in front of Jet or Bug.

Jet is at the stage with vocabulary where he understands alot, is able to communicate most things but lacks the names of the feelings or has a hard time using his words when he is upset. We have had more emotions from Jet in the last 2 weeks than we have had in the last 9+ weeks. More personality, more crying, more smiles, more frustrations, more sadness.......

Papa and I have spent time re-evaluating the needs of each member and of the family. We have purposely set up scenarios to address the above situations. Our focus till now has been on our family of five as a whole. Now we are trying to break it down as well into smaller relationships. We continue to keep our world small, though Jet does much better when we do go out. He is still often like a deer in the headlights. Not surprisingly.

We are having more days where the laughter and giggles out-numbers the crying. Thank you, God!!

Learning, loving and growing as a family of five!!

Thailand Memories

2009-06-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

We have had some growing pains today in our status as a family of five. Many members cried a few times. Too tired to blog about it. So I am going to share some fun memories from Thailand. Hope you enjoy!

These were a fruit Jet picked out at the Seafood Market. They were opened and served to us like this! We had no idea what they were. But we tried them and they are SO good! Even anti-fruit eating Papa liked them! YUM

Here is the little step I fell down. Not the 2 BIG steps, just the little one. And yes, I fell down it, all 2 inches of it!!

Jet liked taking pictures. It was an icebreaker for us the first day at the orphanage. He took pics of everything. Including Tom and Jerry in Thai! On the T.V.

Papa's dinner included this huge shrimp, eyes and all, laying right in the middle. In true tourist fashion he had me take a picture! Thankfully, it was not alive! That was a different restaurant!

My singer, songwriter, guitar playing husband did indeed hunt down a guitar store in Bangkok. And yes, it is true, he "abandoned" me and the child who did not like me......

.....to go visit the store, chat with the store owner's son, drool over the guitars (whew, none were left handed!) and take pics of his outing!! In typical tourist fashion!

Another dorky touristy picture of Papa with the coolest. biggest, most disgusting tasting drink ever!

The heat even sends the dogs inside there!

And a final one taken at home. 3 is STILL my new favorite number! (New sandals for summer!)

Hope you all are having a good evening! I am off to give myself a pedicure while munching a cookie or two. Blessings~

Explosion!

2009-06-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

Of language, that is!!

This past Sunday it was like a switch was flipped and Jet has started talking ALOT. I liken it to a baby then toddler all in 8 weeks. He didn't talk much at all in the beginning, mostly listening, taking it all in. Then he moved to a few words, repeating words you said, definitely feeling self conscience of the sound coming out of his mouth. He would giggle after many words and spoke very softly.

A week or two ago Jet started putting 2-3 words together occasionally especially when prompted. His voice was growing stronger. He had the ability since he has been saying prayers with us at meals since Thailand and night time prayers for at least 4 weeks!

On Sunday all 3 kids were making Father's Day cards for their Papa and their Grandpas. I had seen Jet making one for Boppa (my Dad) and knew there was one for Papa. At one point he came downstairs to show me, indicating one for Papa and one for Grandpa E. I asked him where Boppa's card was. He said oh and ran upstairs.

About 5 minutes later Jet came back down and repeated the one for Papa and Grandpa E thing. I persisted about Boppa's since we were about to leave to go there. I told him to go up and ask Peanut where it was because she had seen him make it. He looked at me for a minute. Then his answer went something like this:

Jet asked Peanut where Boppa card; Peanut doesn't know; Peanut said ask Mama

And we are off to the races!!!!!!!!

He has been having more conversations like this everyday since!

I am so completely amazed at his receptive language as well. He truly understands SO many things. Yesterday I mentioned to him something was under the table and he knew right away to look UNDER the table. My Mom was giving a direction to me of something tricky to do not being very direct since it was to me and he completely understood her!

I am in awe of his determination. He will persist with me if I say something, I can see it in his face, trying to figure it out. Then if I can tell he isn't sure I will start to mime, gesture and then the ah haa moment comes. It is so fun to see!!

8 weeks yesterday!! We have been home for 8 weeks!

I love you's and Kisses

2009-06-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

I had a different post planned for today. But then something happened that just had to be shared first!!

There are 2 things you need to remember to go with this story. We are an affectionate family and that has been an adjustment for Jet. And he has not always been very fond of me. (Putting it nicely!)

Peanut and Bug are huge huggers and kissers, with each other and with us parents. It has been a slightly uncomfortable thing for Jet. He has grimaced his way through some and I have had to encourage Peanut and Bug to give him some space at times. I have strongly believed seeing Peanut and Bug interact with each other and me has been really good for Jet.

At this point in time, Jet has hugged me, snuggled, allowed me to kiss him, bless him and has said I love you in return. I love you has been said as a repetitive thing, not necessarily understanding the meaning and emotion.

This morning I had the children gathered around me while I was slathering them in sunscreen. While waiting his turn, Bug was giving many kisses to my arm and cheek. Jet was getting the sunscreen applied so he had a good view of Bug's affection. I turned to Bug so my lips got his lips to surprise him once. Jet giggled. It was then Bug's turn for sunscreen.

Much to my amazement Jet started kissing my arm, kissed my cheek then moved his face in front of mine. Then he kissed me on the lips!! With only a little giggle following. WOW

Later in the day we were outside playing in the pool. Jet came up to, goggles and all, wrapped his arms around me, saying "I love you, Mama". Looking right at me.....through blue goggles....but looking right at me! This was completely on his own. Neither of his siblings had just been doing or saying that nor had I just said it!! WOW

Two times my breath was taken away and I had to fight for composure. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This boy keeps stealing my heart a little more each day.

Fathers

2009-06-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

I have spent the day thinking about fathers. Many different kinds of fathers. Naturally, the fathers who have children they are raising or have raised come to mind. I thought about the fathers who have created life only to experience a miscarriage or death prior to birth. From our own experiences I also consider the fathers who are struggling through infertility. Each month is like a silent miscarriage. It has always been very special for me when others include women who have suffered miscarriages and/or infertility when describing a mother. The same goes with a father for me.

This year I spent more time thinking about my childrens birth fathers. In most conversations birth mothers are more often referred to. In the face of raising 2 sons now, the birth father comes to mind more. My sons will have their father, grandfathers and uncles as examples. I watched Jet today in church sitting next to his uncle, imitating his every move, the exact fold of his hands, his stance. So impressionable. One day an explanation of the role their birth father played will be needed. How will that impact my boys?

Our children come with very little information about their birth parents. Particularly the birth father. I wonder if the birth father even knows he/she exists. Would he want to know? Would he have played a part in raising his child? Is he a father? What kind of an example would he be? Would our children be better off being raised as some say with family of the same race?

My faith tells me when we die we will see everything from our past. Will they be surprised to know they have a son or daughter? How will they feel? I think of so many emotions that could be involved. Regret, anger, guilt, sadness....it leaves me speechless and heartbroken.

Our children are beautiful beings, inside and out. (I DO realize I am prejuidice!) It is unthinkable to me that their birth parents and extended family don't have an opportunity to know them. Yet it is because of that situation we are allowed the privilege of being their parents. Without which there would be no Father's Day for Papa.

In the end I can only offer it all up to my heavenly Father. I pray for all fathers everywhere and thank God He has made my hubby a father.

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him Father! ---Lydia M. Child

Blessed indeed!

Happy Father's Day, Papa!! I am so thankful you are the father of our children. We ALL love you.

Books, books and more books

2009-06-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

We love to read in our house. Lots of books can be found here and there around the house. While in Thailand one tidbit we learned about Jet was that he loves to read. Go figure......isn't God amazing!?!!

I wasn't prepared for as advanced a child as Jet is so I have no Thai reading for him. Unless you count the 2 comic books we bought in Thailand, having no idea what they were even about!!

A couple of weeks ago I was searching online and found this website with Veggie Tales personalized books!! We like the Veggie Tales stories alot. They use your child's name as the hero in the story. I know there was at least one specific for a Thai boy. And they are in Thai! I can't wait for his birthday or Christmas to get him one!!

I couldn't find any other sites, in English, where I could get children's books in Thai. I was very disappointed....until last night! When I was searching for the Thai 1000 words book, I came across buythaibooks and they have many choices of children's books written in English and Thai. I was so excited and even more so when I came across the Bible Stories available. Both Thai and English in the same book!! YAHOOO!!

Then it got even better if you can believe it! While looking at the choices available at buythaibooks I noted you could go to another website of theirs and HEAR the stories on the internet in Thai. There is a listing of Aesop's Fables to choose from as well as another page of children's stories available to have read to you by a native Thai. So crazy cool!!!!!!!

So tonight we had Pad Thai for dinner and heard A Bell on the Cat's Neck (in Thai) for our bedtime story. Jet was shocked when the Thai started coming out of the computer. It was awesome to see his face! Peanut and Bug were not too thrilled with a bedtime story they couldn't understand. Ummm, yeah, that has been your brother's life for the last 6 weeks! What a teaching lesson that was!!!

Enjoy checking it all out!! Off to shop myself!!

Top Thailand Tips

2009-06-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

Use Miss Oh!!!! She is a travel agent in Thailand and has an extensive understanding of the adoption world. She can provide transportation services if needed. (More cost effective to use cabs unless you have a big family, in my opinion.) She will take papers needing to be translated, drop them off, pick them up, check for errors and deliver them to you. We received way more than we paid for with Miss Oh! She brought sweets to our son the first day she met him. We were able to ask any questions we wanted like shopping and restaurant suggestions, sightseeing tips, writing names of destinations in Thai for us to use with the cab drivers. Most importantly, Miss Oh talked with our son explaining many things for us. She had conversations that produced many useful tidbits we never would have otherwise known. Like our son was really hoping to have a RED bike, he wanted to grow his hair longer like his Daddy's, (mind you Papa's hair isn't long but in comparison to the buzz look he was use to, it was) and was 3rd in his school class of 33 children.

Eat at Central Chidlom Department Store's FoodLoft! This place was awesome! Great choices for everyone, good food, inexpensive prices! We were so bummed we went there near the end of our trip because we would have gone back. They have one booth that was noodles! Our 8 year old was so excited about it and I would think it would be great for the 2 year old range also. His meal was very similiar to the food we saw him eat at the orphanage.

Buy this map NOW!! Nancy Chandler's map of Bangkok is so useful! I had heard about it and wanted to get one when we got to Thailand, which I did. However, it is so jam-packed with information you need to get it to plan before going. The map is truly amazing with it's details and information and the accompanying booklet is filled with useful info. Miss Oh even saw it and said it looked like it was THE map! So much detail it was even helpful to show our hotel valets to explain to the cab drivers where we wanted to go.

Thai Berlitz Kids 1000 Words book rocks! It can be found at this link to explain what can be found in the book. However I can't find a place on the web to buy it. I didn't search too long though. We bought it in Thailand at the AA Bookstore. Very useful words shown in english, Thai characters and Thai letters.

I would truly love to go back now!

Attachment Part 3

2009-06-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone for accepting my feelings. I appreciate all your kind words.

I best jump to the present though! We have come a LONG way. The day before we were scheduled to leave Thailand as we sat in the US Embassy, Jet leaned his elbow on my leg!! I couldn't believe it!! It felt wonderful. He leaned on me completely for the plane ride in order to look out the window. It has just continued from there!

Jet now snuggles on my lap, holds my hand well, gives me hugs, looks to be picked up, lets me put lotion on and kiss him.

Upon arriving in the states, I did hope it would help Jet to see Peanut, Bug and I interacting. All the above things didn't just happen right away. He would still be stiff in my lap, but not try to get away. I did encourage contact with me. For example, I put lotion on the kids, starting with Peanut so he could see it, rubbing and massaging for awhile. I exaggerated the care of any ouchies he got so I could have contact with him. I still do those things, I figure he missed out on a lot of that "mothering" so I need to make up for it. I also want our kids to have that example of a Mom for their future.

Papa and I had gone back to the orphanage with Jet a second time and were able to see better interaction with staff. There was definitely a more playful, fun relationship with the guys and more serious, caretaking with the women. We both agree had our other children been with us, it might have helped Jet to see the interactions between us and feel more comfortable with a Mama.

Our only concern is we what have seen when we are out, Jet easily hugs whomever is talking to us. There are times our other kids have done it first, but at times they haven't and we really don't know the person that well. So we obviously have that as a concern, to ensure he is able to distinguish the difference. We have not been going out much and my family knows only we help with those primary needs like food and bathroom.

We are simply amazed at the progress that has been made in our family over the last few weeks. Jet is an incredibly resilient child who I believe was well prepared for this adjustment. In some ways it seems he has always been here with us. He works so hard at the language. It has been fun for all of us to watch the wonder of the things we take for granted. The kids and i took him through the car wash the other day. Peanut and Bug have been waiting forever to do that and he loved it! His wonder and amazement is very contagious!

God has proven once again....He knows what He is doing!!

Attachment Part 2--Thailand

2009-06-09T20:24:00.001-07:00

I would like to apologize NOW for the following things that will be mentioned in this post. I know myself and I will feel the need to say I am sorry or I feel bad for many of my thoughts, feelings or comments. That would make the post very long for me to write, you to read and I have no pictures planned along the way to add interest. :)) So I will try not to do that if you promise to remember I am being truthfully honest about very real emotions. Not all pretty ones. In a stressful situation (not to make excuses). I am very thankful I have a merciful God Who does already know the thoughts and feelings I experienced.

As I stated yesterday, I was not ruffled in the beginning. I was actually thrilled Jet liked his Papa and was able to spend this time with him. As a SAHM, who home schools, the kids and I have plenty of time to be together. As the primary caretaker at home, it was enjoyable to have Papa doing "more" than me. I enjoyed being there, watching these moments between Jet and his new Papa. My husband MORE than stepped up to the plate which made it even more enjoyable to witness.

When I started noticing the difference in play with me, not sitting on my lap, trying to worm his hand out of mine, etc...I made mention to Papa. He didn't "see" it. I wasn't trying hard enough.

Now in all fairness to my hubby, he was not trying to mean here. As far as he not seeing it, the times most of those things happened we were out somewhere. The busy, hectic streets of Bangkok, a meeting for the adoption, the orphanage, a restaurant. As for the not trying hard enough, I will admit I was slightly uneasy. I was not too sure of myself, not wanting to scare the kid but emotionally wanting to swoop this child up, hug and kiss him and not let go. We had been dreaming and thinking about THIS particular child for 20 months. I knew my 2 kids loved hugs, snuggles, etc, but I was concerned it might be too much for him. So to a degree, I held back, I believe in retrospect.

I felt like I detached a little too, partly due to the fact that I was in a foreign country to bring my son home and also due to the emotions surrounding seeing the poverty, so many children without families and sex trade. We live in the land of plenty. I know there is poverty in the US, I just haven't seen it. And this I saw, every time we left our hotel.

I now realize the rather sheltered life I have led, though if you had asked me prior to this trip I would not have answered in that way. (Oops, I did have pics to share)

So after grumbling at my husband for being mean ;)), I tried even harder. I did make sure Papa was watching though. Not only to see for himself the difference but that I was trying.

During this time, I, of course, told Papa we knew this could happen. It wasn't unusual. The books did mention this as a possibility. However, how can one plan the way they will handle it, if it
happens to them?

I persevered. I still got in the water with them at the pool. I pretended to be a shark after Jet just like Papa was doing. I grabbed his hand to hold when necessary and "danced" our hands trying to make a game out of it. I tried very hard to ignore the unhappy shrieks and looks of disdain from Jet.

I never did stop trying but gradually I found myself walking a few steps behind Jet and Papa. Letting them be in their world and me be in mine. I did what I wanted, if I wanted to read in the sun, I did. If I saw something to look at in a store, I stopped. I took care of all the adoption paperwork stuff leaving child duty up to Papa. I was still a part of everything, but a distant part. I felt it didn't matter whether I was there or not.

Eventually, I became so disheartened I started making rather mean comments to my husband. In private, between us and not directed at him (or Jet) but venting, frustrated (and possibly snide :(( ) comments. I tend to be the picture taker in our house. Jet refused to be in pictures with me and he refused to smile (or look at me) when I was trying to take a picture of him and Papa. So I started making comments about not even bothering to take our camera with us since we weren't going to get any good pictures anyway. This is one example of the irritation I allowed to slip out to my husband. I struggled with wanting to "force" the child (my view at the time) to do the things he didn't want to do like hold my hand, sit on my lap. Those were my thoughts when the anger and frustration threatened to take over. I DID win that battle, just so you know. :))

My Peanut was home miserable with a BAD case of the chicken pox, my Bug REALLY missed his Mama and my long-waited-for Jet wanted NOTHING to do with me.

What had we done, I thought?

Next installment tomorrow....

Attachment Part 1-Thailand

2009-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I had read the books.

I did the online classes.

I had read blogs, forums and bulletin boards.

I knew the stories well. Quite often when a child first joins a family through adoption a preference is shown for one parent. Not only is a preference shown for one but the other parent is often unable to do anything for the child without making them upset.

I was confident in our ability to handle this situation. Our 8 year old son had pictures of us. The few things I had come across in relation to older child adoption had comments like "the minute she saw us she knew who we were!", "he recognized us and flew into our arms".

Besides, I am a Mama, an affectionate, hugging, kissing, hand-holding, child carrying, snuggling, loving Mama. It seemed to me, if Jet didn't come running into our arms instantly, I would most certainly be the one he would attach to you at first.

(I must insert a reminder here--I am keeping it real, telling it like it is, human flaws and all.)

Yes, it would be me.
It wasn't me.

NOT BY A LONG SHOT WAS IT ME!! At the orphanage Jet came to both of us hesitantly. He allowed both of us to give him side-to-side hugs. Neither one of us pushed it at all. He seemed to like us, was ready to go with us but was reserved as well. Naturally.

Within a few short hours this was the way he was with hubby:

A subtle change had started to take place. He was definitely preferring Papa, liking to hold his hand when it was necessary, looking to him for answers and direction. I wasn't too concerned, really didn't notice it. Only in retrospect am I able to see it. I went about doing things for him, swooping in as that loving Mama when the grieving it the first night.

Papa and I started to notice things the next few days. Like when it was necessary for him to hold a hand (crossing a street) he would lunge for Papa. No exaggeration--LUNGE. Jet got to the point where he knew the time was coming for one of us to reach for his hand so he would grab Papa's prior to us reaching. My leg literally could not touch his leg when sitting next to each other. In the situations where he had NO CHOICE (because if there WAS a choice, he was nowhere near me) but to sit next to me, he spent the entire time shifting, moving, trying not to allow any part of him to touch any part of me.

If Papa and I were sitting next to each other, Jet would stand on the side of Papa that was not near me. If Papa moved him in between us, Jet would become very antsy and move back as soon as he could. Doing everything he could to keep his body so no part was touching me. If for any reason I was closest and needed to pull Jet onto my lap he resisted, keeping his body stiff and feet on the ground. His hands would work to "free" himself from me.

Getting out of the cab I would reach for Jet's hand to get us to safety while Papa paid the driver. Jet would not "hold" my hand, rather he would work to twist his hand out of mine, looking at me with disdain. The minute Papa was free Jet was grabbing his hand and looking at me to release his other hand. When the 3 of us were playing in the pool, I would try to swim after him like Papa did or play in a similar way. Jet would make a whine sound and, again, lunge for Papa. To protect him.

When I said he wasn't fond of me, I really wasn't kidding.

It wasn't me. In a big way.

I do not write any of this for sympathy. It is what it is. The idea is for families to share, be aware, know they are not alone in this journey of adoption we are called to.

I will be keeping it real tomorrow with MY reactions!

My 1st Blog Award!!

2009-06-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

I have seen many blog awards on other blogs as I wander around reading others stories. But never one as ADORABLE as this one!!

My friend, Sarah, from Bunches of Burches, gave me this award. She and her hubby have been trying to grow their family with many trials and struggles along the way. They were just chosen by a birthmom for a little one due in November! Please pray things go well for all involved in this baby's life.

Here are the rules:

Post this cute award to your blog.
Link the person from whom you received the award.
Nominate as many blogs as you'd like.
Leave a comment on their blog telling them how adorable they are!!

I nominate:

Kam @ Faith, Family, and Adoption Kam, Jason and their 2 adorable girls are waiting for a little boy to join their family from Thailand.

Ellie @ Little Lily Ellie, Eric and their brood of 3 cutie-pies are waiting for an official referral of their daughter, Lily from Thailand.

Molly @ Motherhood and Musings My beautiful sister blogs here, occasionally! and pics of my scrumptious niece and nephew can be seen.

Kelly @ The Dawson Diaries Kelly and Brian have 4 beautiful girls and are very interested in adopting one day!

Going from 2 to 3

2009-06-04T07:09:00.000-07:00

"So how is it going from 2-3 kids" my friend asked me last week.

I am sure we have all heard it both ways. No difference adding another after 2 or as parents we are outnumbered now!!

Now I realize we are a bit different because of the ages of Peanut and Bug plus Jet being an older child adoption. But here is my experience!

More laundry. I am not sure how one small 8 year old can produce that much more laundry, but it seems my piles of laundry have gotten bigger. (Now here is where I would insert a picture of a pile of laundry to spice up the post if I hadn't broken our new camera 2 days ago. :)) Toss in the bulky fleece pullovers he is STILL wearing everyday, sheets for an extra bed and towels, cloth napkins and placemats for a 5th person and you end up with a little bit of extra laundry!!

Having all 3 walking, yet no one young enough for the cart, does make for interesting times out by myself as far as hand holding. I was not smart (we don't use the word stupid in our house but it fits!) and took us all to the grocery store again for a quick trip. Jet still doesn't want to hold Peanut's hand. I figured it was a cultural thing, and therefore wasn't going to push it for now, until he held the neighbor girl's hand to run through the sprinkler. Gotta hold Peanut's hand, Buddy!! If he knew more English or I knew more Thai it really wouldn't be a problem going out with all three. I just can't communicate the need to stay close by, where I can see you or there is a car coming!!

We already struggled with one child talking at the same time as the other so that hasn't changed any except now there is 3 trying to talk all at once!

Peanut and Bug still sit on my lap and snuggle. It is definitely difficult to get all three on my lap. Jet does not like being smooshed whereas Peanut and Bug don't care if it means they are with Mama. It is taking some thinking on my part as I work to make myself an equal-opportunity Mama. ;)) Part of it is making sure each child's needs are being met separately instead of as one. It is probably better for everyone in the long run.

More groceries. We couldn't keep fresh fruit in the house before Jet came home!! Our grocery bill has increased, buying Thai ingredients here is expensive. Wal*mart doesn't carry much of it so our 1 big grocery chain can charge whatever they want. Jet gets very excited when we go down the asian food aisle in the grocery stores. He stands in front of the many different types of rice, saying "Mama, Mama" over and over again!! I must not be making rice enough!!

Now I hope you all know me well enough to realize I am by NO means complaining about a single thing on this list! I feel very blessed to have more laundry to do, come up with more ways to keep our grocery bill down, have more snuggle time......It helps me to keep my focus where it needs to be. On God, my husband and my children. Bringing a 3rd child into our fold has only increased my focus.

Papa and I talk alot about idleness and how it can create more opportunities for satan to tempt us. Living in this broken world there are already so many temptations being put before us the minute we walk out the door of our house. We have to be vigiliant in keeping our homes as free from the temptations as we possibly can. I love Proverbs 31 and specifically look to verses 26-27 as my goal to strive for everyday.

She opens her mouth with wisdom
and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

I am thankful that each morning, with God's mercy, I am able to start anew and hope to one day fulfill the next verse:

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her.

So.....more laundry, cooking, snuggling, teaching.....BRING IT ON!!!!!!

Picture Post

2009-06-01T20:42:00.001-07:00

This beautiful tree is located right outside the cottage where Jet lived. Isn't the orange color amazing?

This was taken from our cab. We couldn't believe how many people were on each tuk tuk!! We did take one ride on a tuk tuk. It is a must do for the experience!! Just one time though, imo.

This mini-temple was on the orphanage grounds near the front. I am assuming it was used to teach the children about Buddha and to give him honor.

The playroom in Jet's cottage was filled with more toys than I had anticipated. Many were educational type toys and quite a few books.

There was playground equipment set up in many different areas on the grounds of the orphanage.

A goofy picture of Papa at our hotel on our first day as we checked things out! (Pun intended!) We took it especially for Papa's Disn*y-loving parents!

Hope you all enjoyed! I realized the last post was fairly boring with NO pictures. So I thought this would be fun!

Board Meeting Day

2009-05-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

We had meet with our Thai SW on the Friday prior to our Wednesday board meeting. That was the day we went to meet our son. At that meeting she said she wanted me to wear a dress or skirt and Papa, nice pants with a button down shirt. Ummm, ok.

Our agency had given us instructions as to what to wear to the board meeting. For women they suggested either dress pants or a dress/skirt. I had spent alot of time before we left picking out an outfit to wear. Dress pants were the end result.

It was one of those situations were you feel like you have to do whatever is necessary to be able to adopt your child. There seems to be quite a few of those situations.

I responded in the affirmative. We would figure it out, we have 5 days, right?

I am fairly certain my shirt DID NOT match my skirt. Neither color nor material.

But the Munchkin did get to come home with us! :))

I am not sure what I really expected of the meeting. I know I expected the board members to be mostly men. Not sure why. We had 3 ladies in our room.

I was too hot to be nervous prior to the meeting. As indicated, there was no air conditioning where we waited our turn. I had fallen the day before so I had a swollen left knee and twisted right ankle. Both were swelling by the minute and were visible due to the skirt situation.

Then there was the fact Jet would be asked questions as well. Let's remember he was not fond of Mama. (Really that puts it rather mildly!) What would they ask him and would he answer them?! He had taken to not responding to Thais when they spoke to him. UGH!

The meeting was enjoyable. I liked seeing these ladies and knowing they had probably played a part in making our family what it was about to become. I was able to silently pray for them and all their efforts to find homes for these children. I could hopefully display to them a little bit of "us" and how blessed WE felt to be Jet's parents. My labor.

Their questions ranged from how long have we been waiting to adopt, our schooling plans to the kids back home. They had our homestudy in front of them and went through it as they asked questions. We talked about Thailand, our impressions, how long we had been there and they made suggestions of places to go.

They spoke to Jet. He was hesitant at first but then he warmed up. We, of course, were clueless as to what they were asking him as well as his answers! He had the ladies laughing many times. A few things they did translate for us.

He eats hot dogs for breakfast.

He sleeps in the middle. LOL

Translation, please.

Hot dogs=sausage links

We had a king size bed. We had him in the middle so he didn't fall out or leave the room in the middle of the night.

Thankfully, they were laughing...even if it was with a little bit of a hmmmm in their comments.

After that one board member asked the ages of our other 2 children. As we started to answer, another member found the info and laughingly said,

2000, 2001, 2002! They all found that funny.

It was over.

As we were getting up, I was reduced to tears as one woman softly said,

"Thank you for giving him a home."

No, THANK YOU for allowing us the privilege of calling this boy SON.

Blessings

2009-05-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Two revelations today--

Bug was able to share with me this morning he is struggling because he hasn't had any Sissy (AKA Peanut) time. Just Sissy time. I am very thankful he and I were able to figure it out, yet I am sad. I will admit I was concerned about the changes to Peanut and Bug's relationship. They have been inseparable for years. I didn't realize a brother and sister could be as close as they have been. I really loved how they cared for each other and were always together. Papa and I talked many times about how we thought it might be impacted by the adoption. Were we doing the right thing? we wondered. I know it is very early in the whole process, we are still just trying to figure so many things out. This is my outlet--my place to share my thoughts and feelings, even if they are a little scattered! I pray we are able to nurture and grow all 3 to have wonderful relationships with each other.

Gem really hit it on the head, I think, with Jet's reluctance to hold Peanut's hand! Thank you, Gem!!!!! As soon as I read your comment I remembered reading about not holding my hubby's hand or kissing him in public in Thailand. Then I read her link and more, coming to the conclusion it must be a factor. I will admit I am surprised it would be stressed to one so young, but I know they were often out performing in shows, etc...

I myself have been struggling the last few days...ok, probably the last week, feeling down. Not too sure why, my long awaited son is home! Not sure if it is the let down from the last 20 months or what. I don't feel like there should be a let down as I have my son here, I have my 3 kiddos together.

Two times today I have been FILLED with a wonderful burst of "blessings". I have no other word for it. I have walked away from an interaction with my 3 munchkins, feeling like my heart is literally being filled and the same 2 words pop into my head at that moment. GOD and BLESSED

Two times, same feeling, same words.

I am so thankful God is willing to use a God for Dummies approach with me!! I finally get it God, thanks! I AM so blessed. I think I will post-it-note it all over the house. :))

I pray you are all feeling blessed tonight!

Love, Megan

2 weeks

2009-05-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

We have been home for 2 weeks. Unbelievable! In some ways I feel like we were never in Thailand. Like it was a dream. Except for the fact I have 3 kiddos now! LOL

I loved being in Thailand, for the most part. I will admit by the end I was ready to be around people who could understand me and whom I could understand. I feel so terrible thinking, let alone writing that down, but I am human. And I am committed to laying it all out for other families journeying down this path.

What makes me feel terrible is the fact that Jet is now in that situation. And he can't go get on a plane back to what is familiar. Frankly, the poor kid can't even tell anyone if he wants to!!

He hears us talking, alot. We are a talkative family. And he is understanding more and more. But I do remember how tiring it was trying to understand and be understood. I had an end in sight, I knew my uncomfortableness was short term. I also had my husband with me who did understand me (even if he doesn't want to ;))

I wonder what Jet is thinking. I wonder if he is tired of not being understood or of understanding us. I see him at times trying to say something to me, if I don't understand the first time, he is reluctant to keep trying. I was NOT good at understanding Thai's in Thailand at all. Papa could understand them much better than me. Papa has gone back to work though. So Jet is stuck with me. He doesn't get mad, I just feel bad.

It makes me appreciate his resilience and determination even more.

I learned a few things today!

1) A shopping trip is a wonderful opportunity for English lessons! We went to Walmart and I believe I heard my favorite Thai-accented Mama about 100 times as Jet wanted to know the name of everything! We have stayed close to home so this was our first adventure out in the overloaded America we are. I notice alot more myself, like the fact one whole aisle is dedicated to pens and notebooks. Do we truly NEED that many choices? Shameful, IMO.

2) I so totally have no idea what I was thinking when I went to the grocery store with 3 children!! For our first real outing, with a HUGE list for groceries and another list for the other side of the store!! I had not been to the store since well before we went to Thailand and since I have been sick since we returned, Papa had gone to the store. Add in the "100 times Mama" and I am EXHAUSTED tonight. And I will not be doing that again anytime soon!

3) Jet has a big issue with holding Peanut's hand! I knew it was a problem before, but he has never really liked holding anyone's hand. I have seen him hold Bug's hand recently on his own, though. So today I needed him to hold Peanut's hand in the store. Bug is a dreamer and I wasn't sure I could count on him to pay enough attention to me and Jet. Jet was not being cooperative and I was letting him know how important it was. He was in tears over it. Obviously something we need to try and figure out, a much bigger deal than we thought.

Things are going well. I am finally almost over my cold and will be posting more frequently! I promise!

100th POST!!

2009-05-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

An update seems like a great post for the 100th!!

What an amazing few weeks we have had! The trip was something to be remembered forever. Seeing a country on the other side of the world, witnessing the way of life for them has affected us in ways we are still processing. The opportunity we had to see where Jet spent his first 8 years was a complete privilege. One I hope many others try to take advantage of. There are images I will never forget.

Jet is a good kid! He has been seen by our doctor and dentist. He is completely healthy, no cavities, no parasites. His teeth have even been treated with enamel!

Jet reads and writes in Thai. He was playing with a little Thai boy in the US Embassy while we were waiting whose Mama spoke good English as well. At one point she told me the boys were challenging each other with math problems!!

I woke up this past Monday morning ready to get back on a routine for all of our sanity, so by 9am we were starting school. I started with addition flashcards for Peanut and Bug figuring Jet would be able to watch. Jet knew how to count to ten in English, we knew that already. So after Peanut and Bug each answered one, I flashed an easier one to Jet and said the problem out loud to him. He gave me the answer....in English!! I did rounds with all 3 of them and Jet even knew 7+4, we didn't even know he knew 11.

I told Papa I needed to do some shopping for new home school stuff!! He was totally ready to jump right in, we did handwriting and English words that day.

He is fairly picky with eating, not too good when you are super skinny! I will be taking out stock in rice and Thai noodles!! I thought we went through alot of rice before! Jet does not like mac and cheese, that was the worst face I have seen him make yet!! (Annie's Gluten free)

We are still working on the western potty thing. So interesting....keeps things hopping I guess. ;)) I am not too sure how we are going to fare when Papa goes back to work next week!

Jet does like his Mama now. He started the day before we left Thailand to warm up to me and actually slept on me for part of the plane ride. He is definitely more comfortable with me but has his limits overall. It really hasn't been that long so we are doing well.

He sleeps well at night, has since the beginning. He has a difficult time staying on task for very long and is definitely use to being outside alot.

Speaking of outside.....this is the first day Jet hasn't worn a pullover fleece hoodie with his t-shirt and jeans all day long. Even outside. It has been in the upper 80's to low 90's here. What on earth is he going to wear come WINTER!!

The kids are doing well, all things considered. I am going to leave that for another day. Peanut is doing very well in role as "big" sister. Bug is struggling. Both are opposite of what we expected. So fellow adoptive parents, beware!!

A bit of the honeymoon seems to be wearing off as we move into a new stage. The kids were all in bed at 7:45pm tonight, if that is any indication. :))

Yes, we know there will be hard work involved. Yes, I think older child adoption is amazing!! I don't think I really anticipated it to be this dynamic!

Papa and I are such nuts about adoption and our journeys it was all we talked about while signing our life away refinancing today!! They could have gotten us to sign anything. They asked questions and we talked, the gal tried to slip in a few words about what we were signing but hey....we know paperwork!!

They asked if we were done....having kids
or if we were going to adopt again.....

HHHMMMMM.........LOL

God's Reminder

2009-05-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday* we headed off to Mass. Our son's first Mass.

We were late arriving and in typical Thai fashion, Mass had NOT started yet. Thank you, God! I so dislike walking in to church once Mass has started and knew we wouldn't be able to slip in unnoticed--2 white folk with a Thai child! LOL

I was on my knees, near tears as I was praying prior to the start. It is easy to feel attacked in a place filled with so much sin. I was begging God to be with me, keep us strong, remind me He was here with me. I needed Him. I knew I could find Him there. I NEEDED A REMINDER. I was desperate.

A sweet older man who had been greeting parishioners came down the aisle, scanning the crowd, right as the first song starts.

He turns looking, searching....

His searching goes past us, barely, then comes right back and stops.

He walks over and whispers something to Papa.

I know....instantly I know

Papa looks at me wide-eyed with a small knowing yet disbelieving smile on his face.

I only have to nod my head and mouth YES. No words are necessary. God had instantly answered my prayer.

We had been asked to bring the gifts up. We have NEVER been asked to bring the gifts up in our parish at home.

The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all whom call on Him in truth. Psalm 145:17-18

We felt so honored. I felt it was such a blessing on our son, for his first Mass. We were recognized as a family--only 2 days in to the start of our adventure!

And God was reminding me that no matter where I go, what I see, He is always there, holding my hand, loving me. And even though I SHOULD never need to be reminded, He will always give me what I NEED.

Thank you God for being there for me and for blessing our family so!

*This post was started when in Thailand.

America

2009-05-15T07:40:00.000-07:00

Jet was asked by Miss Oh if he knew what was going to happen. He said we were going to go on in a cab, on an airplane to America. He got it.

At least part of it.

Lost in translation was the fact we needed to take 3 planes. First plane-6.5 hours, Second plane-11 hours, Third plane-1 hour!

It started the day before we were to leave when we had to go to the US Embassy VERY early to turn in the necessary documents to hopefully get our visa that day. While waking him up, I said we needed to go to a meeting so we could go to America. He bolted up, got dressed, etc...and when I turned around he was putting his backpack on and trying to gather up all his new toys.

Oops! America is tomorrow! We will be back, I promise, to pack everything up. Poor little guy! But he trusted us and left with us, leaving it all in the hotel room. What a trooper!!

We boarded the plane the next morning. Words can not even express how exciting it was to see his expressions and the noises he made as we took off! He loved looking out the window (a must in my opinion if you have an older child!). It was fascinating to be witness to his amazement and excitement over what we take for granted. Seeing the wing out the window, hearing/feeling the wheels go up, clouds right out your window, the shining sun.....

We talked about it being Thailand under us as we took off. He pointed and said Thailand a few times. We talked about going back. I was much more emotional about leaving Thailand, at least on the outside.

Less than 1 hour into the ride, land comes back into view and Jet points and says quizzically "America"?

Not by a long shot, sweetie!!

Jet did amazingly well! He was cheery and excited with ALL 3 takeoffs and landings. He slept for about 6 hours on the second flight.

We are home, a family of five!! God is so good!

I miss Thailand.

Interpreter services--5400 baht

Change in flight plans--$400

Listening to your 3 children play Star Wars legos--PRICELESS

Full heart

2009-05-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

We wanted to make sure Jet got enough to eat at meals, so early on Papa would say "Full" with a question mark tone. Jet would just stare.

Eventually Papa moved to "Full" while patting his tummy, often accompanied by a sigh as he would lean back to show his hand patting his stomach.

We still weren't too sure he got it.

Until one day he finished eating before we noticed, leaned way back in his chair in a slouch, let out a big sigh while patting his tummy and said "Full"!!! We busted out laughing!

What crazy things he must think we Americans do!

My heart is full today. It is my sweet Peanut's coming home day. The day I truly became a Mother. She has been home 8 years. Unbelievable really. I can remember the wait for her like it was yesterday. I can't wait to hug her and watch her coming home video this weekend to celebrate.

My heart is full today. We got our visa and will be leaving within the next few hours to be reunited as a family of five! I will get to hug all 3 of my children at once very soon!

My heart is full today. I was missed by Bug and Peanut even though I am a "mean" Mama and make them do school and chores! I can't wait to hug them both.

My heart is full today. Jet leaned on me, really held my hand and initiated sitting on my lap!! I can't wait for this journey to continue!

My heart is full today. I had my best friend, my husband to make this journey with and i thank God for putting him in my life.

My heart is full today as I thank God for the way He is creating my family and for the many blessings we have been given. May we always remember to never take those for granted.

My heart is full today. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share with others this adoption journey. To pray, help and learn with others similiar to our family is a HUGE blessing. Thank you for being here and for sharing your journey with me as well. You are all in my prayers!

"See" you in America!!

I give up! I lost it again!!
Megan

Randomness

2009-05-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

Jet. Our son's name is Jet. At least that is his nickname. It is hard to write Munchkin #3 all the time and write the sentence carefully so it doesn't sound weird!

Happy Mother's Day!! It is amazing to know I really am a Mama to 3. And in just a few days I will have all 3 together with me. (God willing)

I have many posts floating around in my head. The visit back to the orphanage post has been started. There is so much in that post I want to share. But it is hard to spend time in that place while I am also sharing in my son's new life. I am trying to process all that is happening. There is so much. So forgive me for the general randomness. I promise the others will come!

We are nearing the end. We leave in just over 24 hours. I am ready to be home in many ways but in other ways I feel like there is so much more to see and do here. This is a moment in time that will never come again. One I don't want to end.

Somebody needs to write a book on older child adoption. Not so much about statistics, but about the heart of the matter. The nitty gritty needs to be put out there, the real case scenarios, some "you are not alone", some "funnies", what seems to work, what doesn't.....You get the idea I am sure. I am not talking about the "scare your pants off you" RAD book. A book sharing the joys and the struggles. It seems there is so little out there about older child adoption, yet it is such a beautiful thing!

Randomness--I warned you! :))

Two nights ago I discovered my sweet Jet sucking his thumb. This made me so sad. Common, I am sure, as a self soother (is there even such a word?!). I look forward to the day he can turn to Mama for soothing instead. I pray he is able to feel safe, loved and know someone is ALWAYS there for him.

Again, please continue to check back! I will post more often.

And let me know who you are! I love to see the traffic counter moving and to hear from you would be fantastic!

Blessings to you all

Megan

Sparkles

2009-05-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

Munchkin #3 was quite full of energy during our first afternoon together. We were back to the hotel by 2pm or so and he was bouncing off the walls, actually he really was bouncing off the bed! So we headed to the pool where he bounced off the water and us for awhile!

When we were done swimming, we ordered room service and that turned out to be a very wise decision. Our sweet son didn't make it through dinner. While we were starting to eat I noticed he wasn't looking at the table/his plate, he was trying to turn the other way. He had started crying. Mama swooped him up while Daddy got his two crocheted dolls he had brought with and his new blanket from us. He fell asleep within 15 minutes or so, cradled in my arms.

We have had many fun moments since that first night. As expected, there are times when our son is withdrawn or quieter. It is hard at times to relay what we are doing or where we are going which I am sure makes it more worrisome for him. We have spent alot of time at the hotel. He loves to swim and the minute we get back from somewhere he is immediately signing and asking Mama if we can go swimming. It is one of the only times he initiates anything with Mama, so off we go!

We did make it to the Grand Palace/Emerald Buddha. It was incredibly hot and Munchkin #3 got very weak and shaky. We left rather quickly. It was an incredible place to visit.

Such a contrast to so many other parts of Bangkok, it is hard to take in or understand. As we were leaving there was a young woman dressed in a short skirt arguing with one of the guards/soldier. She was refusing to put on pants to cover her legs. While I may not understand the reasons for the displays of gold and jewels, it is part of the country I am visiting. (Never mind my son's birth country!) I am a VISITOR here. IMO we need to respect the customs another country holds if we are choosing to spend time there. Whether we agree or not! Worse, I am quite sure this woman was an American. If I hadn't been so hot and worried about my son I would have stopped and spoken to this woman. My hubby says it was a good thing I didn't. ;))

Big post coming tomorrow on our visit back to the orphanage to visit his friends and take lots of pics!

THE meeting

2009-05-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep. I was still adjusting to the time change. And we were only hours away from meeting our son. We were being picked up at 8:30 to be at the office by 9:30. The alarm and wake up call were set for 6:30. I made it to bed at 2:30.

I had slept enough over the last 20 months

The feelings are indescribable. The meeting with our Thai SW, short and sweet. Very nice lady, to the point. Addresses what is necessary and we are done.

Works for me, I am through with paperwork.

Upon arriving at the orphanage we are meet by SW workers for the orphanage.

We are one of 3 families there to meet their child. The other 2 families are from France. The children's schedule is handed to me while the other couples are receiving their children.

Uumm, is there a copy in English instead of French?

I was an emotional mess watching one family's son be brought in to them. How was I going to fare in a few minutes when it was my son?

A few minutes later our Thai SW said here he comes, and he is ready to go! Backpack and everything on!

What a beautiful little boy! He knew who we were, he was tentative and shy, yet had an undeniable sparkle of excitement in his eyes. It was so amazing to hear him speaking in Thai. Within a few minutes he was warming up to us and had our camera figured out! He started taking pics of us!

We spent the next hour or so being given many items from our son's past. We were shown his cottage, his cupboard, his bed. We were given a huge book of scrapbooked pictures, an envelope full of pictures, his school uniform shirts and hat, gifts from volunteers, he got to choose 2 stuffed animals from his cupboard. He went to lunch and we followed, seeing how he ate and what the food looked like that he was used to eating.

There is no doubt our son was well loved. We are beyond amazed at the care he received and the many precious "gifts" he has been given during (and from) his first 8 years.

Our son has fallen in love with his Daddy. He tolerates his Mama. He has many english words, trying new ones everyday. He has learned no very quickly, how to say it that is, and to use it correctly! He tries new things with assurance from Mama and Daddy.

I love the way he says Daddy with a Thai accent.

And though "Mama" may not come as often as "Daddy", it sure sounds amazingly sweet!!

To be a child

2009-05-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

What an emotional ride it was from the airport to the hotel.

It was night time but we were able to see plenty from the lights on the highways. The large beautiful buildings next to the run-down shacks. Such a huge contrast. The elaborate golden decorations for the King.

Huge billboards advertising luxury items/places with hovels below.

We came up to a stop light and were immediately surrounded by kids and an adult selling flowers and cleaning windows. KIDS It was around 2am. These kids were no older than our oldest. No older than the son we were there to adopt. They were walking on a street with very fast moving cars, with taxis driving back and forth, with scooters zooming here and there. It took my everything not to look at them, not to open my window and hand them all my money. Papa knew it. At the time, we just looked at each other. Wide-eyed.

Papa finally said he hadn't been prepared for this. Can one ever be? I really wouldn't want to be. I wouldn't want this to be acceptable ever. I wouldn't want to be desensitized to such a travesty. A child's innocence and childhood evaporated...gone.

How blessed our children are. We let them know their job is to be a child. (Yes, they do have chores and responsibilities. You know what I mean! ;)) ) Their job is to learn the qualities and characteristics needed to be good and holy servants for God. To love, honor and serve Him. To love thy neighbor. To love and honor one's parents. To play and run in the outdoors, playing tag, swinging on swings, catching fireflys, playing baseball, eating watermelon, playing hopscotch, swimming.......

Just a reminder of God's blessings and to say thank you to Him, everyday!

Thailand travel Part 2

2009-05-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well, as I mentioned the pilot had a few comments that left us all not too sure we would make it to our connecting flights. Due to the swine flu epidemic, we would need to remain in our seats while we were given a questionnaire to fill out. Let's remember the plane was huge!, even had a second floor for business class! Over 400 passengers! And many different languages being spoken, being questioned by the Japanese govt. And I must admit we did NOT expect this was what the individuals collecting the questionnaire's would look like!

If you lied about whether you had a sore threat or fever, it could be 6 months in jail.

It appears Japan takes possible epidemics seriously.

Thank goodness, we had a little over an hour between our flights. They claimed Japan would be holding all flights since all incoming flights were being questioned, however there was alot of last call boarding announcements. And alot of passengers running. It was a bit crazy!

I did stop in the bathroom, taking my camera with in case I got to see this. Alas, my tushie was not warmed! ;))

The next flight was fairly uneventful all things considered. Papa was comatos for basically the whole flight and I was able to sleep on and off, in between keeping Papa from using our row-mate as a pillow.

(Please excuse my spelling, it appears the Thais must be great spellers as the red squiggly lines don't show up here!)

So we landed and as we had a highly recommended gal meeting us to take us to our hotel, were feeling the end was near! Our high got even better when right at the end of the walkway from the plane a Thai gal was standing there holding a piece of paper with my name on it! No way, how awesome! Wait, no she wants to see my passport?... there are 3 of them to drive two of us to our hotel?....at 1 in the morning? HMMMM seems someone wrote the first number of my passport down wrong, making it a passport that had been lost. YIKES, I am surprised an armed guy wasn't standing there, but wait they did have those walkie talkies to call for back up......

Our night wasn't over! We couldn't find Miss Oh or her driver. We couldn't figure out the computers, phones or how to talk to anyone. I was very hot and tired by that point but we perserved and once we found out there had been a miscommunication, God directed us a good person. Within 15 minutes we were on our way to our hotel! Thank you, God for Your constant care and attention to all details for us. Many times through the trip we were mentally on our knees while we gave thanks for His provision.

Back tracking just a little, I would like to share with you my thoughts as we were flying over Thailand. It was such an incredible experience. Knowing those twinkling lights represented the country my son had been born in. He has history here. His biological family stretching back who knows how long. He has current history here. As in he has lived here for 8 years. Memories he would most likely remember. Time spent with us here he would hopefully remember and have pictures to prompt those memories. It was also very exciting to me to know we were THERE!! We had done it, we were about to land in Thailand. We were just days away from meeting our son! Days from becoming parents to 3 children. Days away from holding, touching this long awaited child. Those twinkling lights represented a new future...for our family, our son, our future generations. I just couldn't wait to see his land, his nationality, his birth country.

And I couldn't wait to see him!!

Here we are about 26 hours after leaving home in our son's birth country! Not too tired looking!!

Tomorrow you'll hear about us meeting him!! It was amazing and he is INCREDIBLE!

Hope you'll be back!

OOOPPPSSS, lost the siggie again!

Megan

It is time!

2009-04-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

We are off to get our son!! Please pray for us and him!!!

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for answered prayers!!!

Thailand adventure!

2009-04-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

It happened, we got to Thailand! What an amazing adventure!!

We left Monday early afternoon. We had a measly little 57 minute flight first. Half way into that flight I was not too sure if I was going to be able to get on the next flight.

Yes, I have flown before. In fact we have done that same 57 minute flight many times. Every time we have ever flown anywhere. It is a must when you live in the middle of nowhere. (Something we do actually enjoy!)

I was letting panic take over. I am not afraid of flying at all. I don't get too disturbed by turbulence. But if I think too much about the fact that I am STUCK on that plane with nowhere to go.....well, I can start to panic. As in hyperventilate.

I had been heading that way in my thinking by Saturday, but on Sunday it disappeared. You see, at church on Sunday the homily given was written just for me. I know, you say there were alot of other parishioners there, but seriously, God gave him that homily for me. I hope no one was too hurt by that, but boy did it help me! ;)) Isn't it amazing when that happens! God can make you feel so special in a group of many, like He is speaking directly to you.

I will admit all that was gone by Monday afternoon. We were up in the air, the flight was fine, not even bumpy, and BAM, the feeling hit. Like a ton of bricks. I kept it to myself, for a little bit. Then I whispered to Papa....I don't think I am going to be able to get on the next plane.

Papa did a great job of working it out with me. He said something that I was able to quickly dispute. But then he really knew what to say...."I'll get you on that plane if I have to, it just won't be really pretty".

In a really sweet voice I promise!

By the time we landed we had such a short time to get to our next flight and needed to grab lunch, there was no time for panic.

We were off!

We shared hip space with a nice gal from Austin, TX, orginally from Kansas. We chatted a little, Papa and I watched 3 straight hours of Friends Season 1 episodes. It was great! We listened to Friends in one ear and a little girl seated in front of us singing in Japanese with the other!! She and her sister were adorable.

Reality really started to set in as we were boarding the plane when we, as caucasians, realized we were among the minority. It prompted us to have a conversation about the changes our sweet son would be under going very soon. It was the first time for us to be in a situation where we really had no idea what anybody was saying. What an eye opener!

12 hours is long. Not doubt about it, however it did go much better than I had anticipated. Things like this....

Pictures taken from in the airplane as we were flying over Canada! Aren't they just incredible!!

We had daylight the whole 12 hour flight! Unfortunately all we had over Alaska was clouds.

As we were preparing to land in Tokyo, the captain had a few interesting things to say that invloves this picture. See if you might know and I will be back tomorrow to tell you all about it!

Ok, so there was 2 pics of the snow capped mountains and my signature use to be there but I am on a borrowed computer that doesn't listen very well to me. ;)) And it is late here. And we get to meet our son in the morning...or really just a few hours from now because it is morning!!!! So surreal, I can't believe it!! Please pray i can go to sleep now!

Good night!

Megan

It's all in the eyes

2009-04-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about the adventure we are about to embark on for quite some time lately. (Nothing like an extra 2 weeks to contemplate it all!!) For our first 2 adoptions, our children were escorted to the US. This will be the first of many for me.

It will be my first time seeing the birth country of my child. It will be the first time I have ever been in a third world country. It will be the first time I have ever seen or been in an orphanage. It will be the first time I will be physically taking my child from his birth country.

You see, I love little ones, babies and children. I always imagined I would have a large family. I love adoption. I believe very strongly every child deserves a home. I cry easily at those commercials showing hungry children, children in need of surgery, children in need of someone to call Mom and Dad. It is in the eyes for me. There is no way for the eyes to hide that sadness, that need, that hunger....for love, affection, attention.

And I want to do something about that for them all.

Going to the orphanage and leaving with only 1 child is going to be difficult for me.

There is our sweet son's best friend. We have pictures and video of the 2 of them that is priceless! According to those that visited, they are best buddies. His family is desperately waiting STILL for their referral and he has known since last year as well that he has a family. These 2 little boys are family to each other and my heart hurts thinking about the separation. I pray we get to spend time with both of them to make lasting memories for the boys. I am so thankful we "know" his family and will be in contact.

Seeing all the children waiting for a family and wondering how many will not ever get one is heart-wrenching now. And I haven't even been there yet to see those eyes. It is hard to look at the statistics--@59 Thai children came home to the US in 2008, Munchkin #3 has over 320 in the Babies Home of his orphanage. (Age 0-5, he has been held there to wait for us!)

Yet, I know I want to witness it all. It is my son's home, has been for the past 8 years. I would love to spend many days playing at the orphanage with all the children. I could honestly spend the whole two weeks there!

I have also had this deep inner feeling the last few weeks. A need to spend more time with Jesus, talking, praying, reading. I have felt almost like nothing else matters but opening myself up to Him. I feel God is leading me on a path. A specific path. I want to be open to His will for this trip, these experiences. I have always wanted to be able to share my passion for adoption with others. To encourage others to seek out adoption as a way to grow their family, as a way to serve and love God, a way to love thy neighbor. I pray I am able to absorb it all, keep it close to my heart and use it in a way that will glorify God and help orphans.

4 days to departure!!

Wonderful Plans

2009-04-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

We have re-booked our tickets! We leave on April 27th to attend the May 6th meeting!! Thank you, God! Still hunting for a hotel, first hotel doesn't have availability for this stay.

We will return home on May 12th. Peanut's Homecoming day is May 11th, so we will have 2 to celebrate right in a row!

What blessed parents we are!

I am so overwhelmed when I think about how God knew these little beings were to be our children. To know His plan for our family extends to the other side of the world, to women who found themselves in very difficult situations, women who made choices that I can only imagine crushed their hearts, loved their children enough to carry them to term and make an adoption plan for them. I would never presume to say it was the best plan for their child, that they would have a better chance at life. In my opinion, my children have lost much. The loss of biological family is real, no matter how young they are adopted or how much we love them. They lose their birth country, family history, ability to look for their biological parents (in most cases), have extra identity questions related to adoption, etc.......It takes strong children to be able to handle all the aspects involved in being an adopted child in a multi-cultural family. Knowing God as we do from David in Psalm 139:13-16:

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

there is no question He has given my children exactly what they need to handle life. He knew His plan for them when He was knitting them in their first Mother's womb. To lean on the words, fearfully and wonderfully made and skillfully wrought gives me faith my children are well prepared to face all parts of their life and succeed!

Thank you, God for giving us our family and for reminding me Your plan for my life IS a precious one.

Munchkin #3

2009-04-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

He would be with us at this time. If there had been no increased violence in the protests. If the DSDW social worker would have still met with us. If we had gone anyway.

Many ifs. Trying hard not to think about those. Focusing on the here and now. And the fact our son will be home.

I stumbled across this yesterday....God knew I needed this. I adore Blessed Mother Teresa, always have. I have heard versions of this before but never from the mouth of someone like her.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Please pray we hear today that we are able to travel to the next meeting scheduled for May6th. I can't imagine waiting all weekend before we might hear something.

Serious.Life Magazine--Check it out!

2009-04-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They just published a new issue and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.

The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia (www.riggsfamilyblog.com). The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.

This magazine is perfect! No papers to recycle or have laying around the house, cluttering up our life space!! And it is FREE, can't beat that, right?!! Check it out....www.seriouslifemagazine.com

Travel delay

2009-04-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

We have made the decision to put off our travel for tomorrow. We hoped to delay for a few days and travel on Friday or Saturday this week to still make our scheduled meeting on the 22nd. We felt that would allow for some of the unrest to subside and move to safer travel. However, the cost of changing our one ticket (non-adoption fare) was $1800, double the original cost of our ticket!! Not really workable, unfortunately.

We had to put emotion out of the equation and that was not easy to do. Papa and I both appreciated our agency's Asian countries director taking time to talk with us today. At the end, I very much appreciated her comments telling us we needed to not second guess ourselves after we made the decision. She said we needed to know either decision was wise. It is difficult not to second guess and it was VERY difficult to call our travel agent and cancel our flights.

We do know we will bring our son home. It is very disappointing to be waiting again. It is frustrating our expenses are rising and that it is even an issue.

I am thankful we were able to make a decision we both feel as comfortable as is possible in this situation. Prayers offered on our behalf gave us the direction and answers we were seeking. Thank you for taking our needs to our Lord and if you are so inclined, please continue to pray for peace in Thailand and a quick invite to the next meeting for us.

God will bring our son home! We will be victorious!!

Blessings to you all in this joyous Easter season~

Magic Sam

2009-04-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

The last 24 hours have been difficult here at our home. Last night I had the unfortunate task of telling Peanut and Bug it was time for our beloved dog, Sam to be put down. We have known he was sick, but no one is ever really ready, are they? We didn't realize how sick until an appt. yesterday with our vet. God's timing is, of course, perfect because he didn't have much time and if allowed to progress naturally, would not have been "pretty".

I know there are many things worse than this happening to many other people. I have spent the last day and a half working to remind myself that he was "just" a dog. But to us he was more. Sam is the first(and only)pet Papa and I have chosen together. I brought a dog into the marriage. We brought Sam into our home at the same time reality of our infertility came to a head. Papa works a late shift, so Sam is here with me when I hear a noise. If he didn't react, I knew I didn't have to.

As difficult as it was to hear my daughter, kneeling before her crucifix, crying out to Jesus to save her Sammy, I am encouraged by her ability to offer everything to Him. There was no hesitation in her turning to Him many times throughout last night and today. She has been able to cry to Him why, help me and and please take away these sorrows. I am so thankful God has brought me to my knees, allowing me to know Him, in turn allowing my children to know Him. Where would we be without Him? I do not want to know.

So today, we shared a snack with our faithful friend. Pretzels he learned to take from our lips, and M & M's he learned to love after he ate an entire bowl of special birthday colors for Bug 2 years ago. Then Peanut, Bug and I went shopping for our suitcase donations for the orphanage. (Papa took Sam to the vet) We came home with quite a few other items too. My kids don't really even ask for stuff, I just got things for them. ($5 light sabers, hair do dads) It really doesn't make things better. We still came home to an empty house......and an empty wallet.

Thank you for allowing me to share this totally off topic story.

Tomorrow we'll be back to our regularly scheduled adoption.

Ready?

2009-04-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

Seven days from right now, we will be on a plane, 9 hours in to our journey to the other side of the world.

Eight days from right now, we will be heading to the orphanage to meet our son!

I have moments where I am feeling well-prepared, on track with my to-do-lists. Yes, there are things to do, but it feels like it continues to come together more and more each day. I realize there will always be a list of things to do and some things on my list are not necessary. Though I must figure out what clothes I have to pack and what I might still need to buy! I seem to keep putting that one off and I am sure it should be considered a high priority!! ;))

Then I have moments where I wonder what I am thinking! I feel like I am missing something BIG, I am way too calm to be leaving the country for 15 days, leaving my 2 kids and bringing home a child who doesn't speak my language. I should be running around frantic about something, I feel.

Yet, I am not. And those above moments are fleeting.

Throughout the last few years, there have been times when God has given me complete peace when I could be really stressed. Or worried. God has allowed me to rest in Him, knowing that what is important, needed for my family will be done. He will provide, He will allow me to breathe, be the wife/mother I need to be if I trust in Him. Often in surrendering my "wants" or what I believe to be the path/plan to His will allows me freedom to enjoy it all so much more. I rest in Him, knowing full well the plans He has for me are so much more than I could ever imagine.

The Psalms 91

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High

shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD,

He is my refuge and my fortress:

my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler,

and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers,

and under his wings shalt thou trust:

his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night;

nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness;

nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side,

and ten thousand at thy right hand;

but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold

and see the reward of the wicked.

Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge,

even the Most High, thy habitation;

there shall no evil befall thee,

neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, Mt. 4.6 · Lk. 4.10

to keep thee in all thy ways.

They shall bear thee up in their hands,

lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Mt. 4.6 · Lk. 4.11

Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder:

the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Lk. 10.19

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him:

I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him:

I will be with him in trouble;

I will deliver him, and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him,

and show him my salvation.

I thank God for the peace that surrounds me and the knowledge that He is my rock. I give Him praise that we will have another little soul to raise to know, to love and to serve Him.

Now for that, I am ready!

Nesting and diet coke

2009-04-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

It has been way too long! You would think we had just decided to adopt! Not like we had umpteen months where we could have been preparing!

We are set with airfare and hotel. Yipee!

Just in case we didn't have enough going on like preparing to be gone for 15 days, leave our kids with grandparents for 15 days, leave school to do, we decided to add in refinancing the house and spring cleaning/gutting every room of the house.

I also decided last week Tues or Wed, I should give up my beloved diet coke. And when I say beloved, I mean BELOVED. I have had a serious love affair with diet coke for a very long time. I am thrilled with some results of giving it up but I must admit I did not have any clue how crabby it was going to make me! What bad timing. What was I thinking!!!

All in all, I should have no problem sleeping on the plane as I am up early in the am and up late at night. With no caffeine in between! I have many things I would like to have done/ready for when we get home. Papa is going to be home for 2 more weeks after we get back from Thailand and we really want to enjoy being together as a new family of five!

7 days and counting!

A Gift

2009-04-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

I recently go*gled the name of the orphanage where our son is living. A choice came up on Flic*r (which I knew had pictures) and a comment about it being where their son had spent his first 6 years.

Could it be? Was their son living there at the same time? As I was clicking on the link, I was trying to calculate how old my son had been the year they picked up their son. The second pic I looked at had about 8 toddlers in it. My brain was still trying to figure out my son's age that year. (OK, please remember I usually am on late at night!!) I finally did realize he would not have been that young, DUH........Then the next picture, I quickly scanned the "older" kids standing around. WHOA..........That's MY son!! A picture of him peeking out from behind a caretaker. I can't believe it, another picture of my sweet son at a one point in his life. Pictures of his first years will be so few, so this is such a TREASURE!

I have emailed the person and I hope maybe they have more!

In case you didn't know......

2009-03-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

...we get to go bring our son home!!!! :)))

I love our small town feeling bank! I was making a deposit today and the teller was one that has been an employee there a long time. While she was doing the transaction I was asking her about our debit card and ATM card being able to be used in Thailand. She was double-checking with another long time employee who came over to the window also. After answering the first gal says "Going to get another baby?!" Now I realize the question wasn't really PC to many people, however I know there was no negative to the way she asked. They were so excited for us, couldn't believe the ages of our first 2 and I loved every minute of it! They were both a part of notarizing the papers for our first 2 as well!! And remember it! I felt like I had a pregnant belly showing!!

My kids love the "regular" teller because she remembers to put the to*tsie rolls in the envelope!! LOL

More later, I haven't had my computer for 2 days so I have some catching up to do!!

Happenings + Misc.

2009-03-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

This post will be all over the place. Sorry!

First and foremost, thank you for your kind comments to my last post. They really mean alot. I look forward to going through this journey with you. Mine and yours. Ours.

Secondly, still no airfare! I don't know if we should be frantic or not. We have gotten info on NWA's adoption program and United's adoption program. The pickle is we are more interested in United's and it seems to be less expensive, however it is set to expire 3/31/09. And you have to have traveled by then, not just booked. Those "in the know" at United can't imagine it won't be done again this next year, yet it isn't "loaded" in the system at this time. Call back in a few days. OK, but next Tuesday is March 31st......and we leave in 2 weeks and five days. (Not that I am counting down or anything :)) Any ideas anyone please let me know! You know, like OH MY GOODNESS WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.......GET YOUR TICKETS NOW...... or any other advice. LOL

And while we are on the topic of flying. I was looking up some info tonite and started to have a total panic about being "stuck" on that plane for that many hours. YIKES do I need to be THAT out of my mind!! ( I truly need those emoticons faces for my blog--mine would have BIG wide eyes for this one, followed by the green throwing up guy--anyone know where I can get them?!) I did know ahead of time how long it would be, it just hasn't been real for so long. I think I just put it "out there" somewhere and now it is here!! Boy, do I sound like a looney or what?! LOL

Thirdly, we got a FANTASTIC deal for our hotel. I went through Booking.com. One thing I loved about this site was you were able to choose a landmark and max. distance from said landmark for your hotel location. We had decided, if at all possible, to be close to the American Embassy so we could walk there. The Centre Point Saladaeng fit our requirements and then some! We ended up getting 13 nights for just under $700. Woohoo!!

Now, if anyone knows this hotel and it isn't FANTASTIC, please let me know! Then I will look for another great deal!! :)) On Booking.com.

Lastly, my Peanut's Fundraiser will be extended. Check for that tomorrow. I didn't get to advertise quite like I wanted with our travel news and 5% of $70 doesn't go far for a giveaway! ;)) I will also have a ton of stuff listed for sale.

So I will leave you with a LOUD and PROUD-"I'M GETTING MY SON" and I look forward to seeing that on each of your blogs one day, too!!

We are one day closer, little man. And this Mama can't wait.

Guilt and Waiting

2009-03-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

I must admit I have been wanting to post quite a few different things for the last week or so but besides being busy getting ready to travel :)) I have also been dealing with much guilt since there are SO many families that are waiting. Some longer than us, in different stages, for different reasons, but I still find it difficult to share my news/excitement. So I have just not been posting or emailing.

But I enjoy posting and emailing. I want to share this process with many people.

The waiting is hard. No, I mean really hard. HARD.

I do get the "worth it in the end" statements. I realize it is often said because who knows what else to say. "Hang in there", "it will happen", "you're so close"......all very kind sentiments, meant in the nicest way from very nice people. But I don't offer them any more when I commiserate with a fellow adoptive parent. It is awkward at the end of an email, so I know WHY people use those "lines". I just chose not to as I know what it feels like to be on the other side. I am not bothered by people who do, I truly know they mean well. I want it to be different from me, an acknowledgment that I understand, I understand.

I am not one of those parents who forgets the wait. Granted the wait for my daughter* 8 years ago isn't what it was at that time, but I don't feel it "went away". It is part of her story. It is part of my labor. It is a part of what I had to go through for the privilege of being her mother.

So I will tell all my fellow waiters.....I DO understand. I will do one thing for you without fail, I will PRAY for you, your family and your child who is waiting JUST FOR YOU. I will wait with you, cry with you, be angry with you and rejoice with you.

Just tell me where you are in the process and I'll meet you there.

*The same goes for my sons!

HELP! I need my brother!!

2009-03-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Don't you think Bug REALLY needs to have his brother come home!??!! Being home with 2 girls most days, all day, is starting to be too much!!

He is really a ham and the two of them just giggle away when they have decided to play dress up. I usually can tell by the amount of giggling whether Bug will be wearing dresses or boy dress up!!

I wonder if new brother will be willing to put all that on!!

Rain??

2009-03-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yikes, I hope it doesn't "rain" when we are there. Seems a little scary.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/2940430.stm

April 16th

2009-03-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

This is an important day for our family! This is the day we will meet our son.

A God-given moment of grace.

Normally, you are told the day and time you will meet with the Thai SW right before you travel, if you are lucky. We had been told they would TRY and get us the info before we left--if they could. And knowing WHEN we would actually get to go the orphanage and meet our son, well, we would find that out when we met with the Thai SW.

We were blessed to receive an email from our agency contact saying we would meet her at 9:30am on April 16th! And then she would take us to our son!! Thank you, Sweet Jesus!

We won't talk about the fact our plane arrives in Bangkok at 12:35am on April 16th, nor that 9:30am is really 9:30pm for us.

I have heard there are St*rbuck's in Thailand........all will be good!!! ;))

Thursday 3/12

2009-03-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday morning I woke up at 6:15am which is very unusual for me. I got up, walked the dog and for some reason felt the need to go downstairs and check my emails. All very unusual. Now most mornings for the past umpteen weeks, I usually have rushed down to check my email for a response from Thailand. But that thought didn't even enter my mind and thankfully I was sleepy enough to ignore rational thinking. Well, low and behold, the Holy Spirit did indeed have a reason for prompting me as there was an email from the Bangkok Visa Unit. Our Article 5 had been sent on!!

I climbed back in bed, woke Papa up and told him!!

I forwarded the info to our agency and later talked with them. By that night, our contact emailed around 9pm saying she had emailed the Thailand SW letting her know we were ready to travel. About 2 hours later, I received another email saying which date works for you!!!!!*

We intended to take the first date, however over the weekend it came to my attention there was a long holiday during that time. We can't afford to be gone for extra time if the paperwork has delays and there offices are closed. We were disappointed for a little while, and then agreed we at least have a date and KNOW we are going!!!!!!

Here we come little man!!

*As a side note for anyone who may read this and question some steps--we have been approved by the governing board in Thailand since Oct.'08. It has been our country holding things up. So it is not like you can just email the SW and say, OK, I am ready to travel!! There is a process and we have gone through it, just a few extra steps for us and some things a little backwards.

I didn't want to lead anyone astray!!

So many emotions are moving through me. I hope to be able to put them down, share them, remember them.

I do know I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to grow our family. I thank God for the many people He has put in my life to share this journey. I thank God for allowing me to experience this journey, for the challenges and the rewards. I hope and pray I am able to honor Him by sharing our story, encouraging others in their struggles to be parents, to following God's call to care for His children.

24 hours

2009-03-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

That is all it took for us to go from "your Article 5 has been issued" to "here are your travel date choices"!

It took till yesterday for us to talk with our agency and confirm travel but we leave 4 weeks from today!!!! Thank you, God!!!!!!

We will leave our midwest town on April 14th and return on the 28th--to be united as a family of 5. Yahooooo!

We will these next 4 weeks go fast....or slow?!?

More to come tomorrow~ Lots to share....great sites for hotels, airfare tips, God filled moments

Thank you for your prayers!

Peanut's Fundraiser/Giveaway

2009-03-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

So here it is!!

Our children have long understood the financial aspect of bringing Munchkin #3 home. They have been a part of cutting back on expenses, Mama taking in a daycare child, skipping extras, etc.....

Peanut, in particular, has been very aware and inquisitive as we have been saving, selling, planning. She has wanted to set up a fundraiser since last summer. Her ideas have ranged from a lemonade stand, where she wanted to charge $20 a glass, to a dinner fundraiser complete with a jumpy thing, or 2 or 3, for kids. One idea she kept going back to was "producing" her own video. A couple of weeks ago, while Mama was out, she convinced Papa it was time! She spent time working out what she wanted to say, set the scene, did her best to memorize it and had Papa shoot it! All of the ideas were hers, implemented with Papa's help. We personally give her an A++++!

We figured the least we could do was help her promote *her* fundraiser. So we are putting it out there! Video included!! She will be tracking any donations made and will be a part of choosing(via random.org) the winner(s)!

Now comes the GIVEAWAY!

In order to enter the giveaway, leave us a comment on this post. Everyone who leaves a comment (whether they make a donation or not) between today 3/13 and 3/27 will be included in a drawing. Random.org will be used to pick the winner(s) on March 28rd, 2009. (Giveaway will end at 12 midnight CST on 3/27)

If you are interested in making a donation, simply click on the orange chip in button and it will bring up a site where you can make a donation via PayPal or a credit/debit card. Any donation, no matter the amount, is truly appreciated!

Please understand, a donation is not necessary to enter to win! We are simply including an incentive to assist Peanut in her efforts to help raise the money needed.

We have chosen 3 different levels to strive for in funds raised. The more donations we receive, the larger the gift card prizes and the better chance you have to be a winner!

For any amount raised up to $1999. one winner will be chosen to receive a cash gift card worth 5% of the amount raised.

An amount raised between $2000. and $2999. the first winner will receive 5% and a second winner will receive 3% of the amount raised in a cash gift card.

Lastly, if the amount raised is over $3000. three winners will be chosen, first and second the same as above and the third winner will receive 2% of the amount raised in a cash gift card.

Make sure to leave an email address or check back on 3/28 as we will post the winner(s) on the blog! And check back during the 14 days--length of time we will be in Thailand when we travel--to see how much has been raised!

We appreciate your prayers and have felt them many times during this wait. It has certainly been challenging but we have also had God "show up" many times to remind us He is in this adoption with us. Please continue to take our prayer requests to the Lord and know you are in our prayers as well.

Only one comment per person please.

Fundraiser/Giveaway

2009-03-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

STARTS TOMORROW!!!!! THURSDAY!!!!!

Check back for details!!!!!

Maybe Baby Steps?

2009-03-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

Could it be?

Are we really inching closer?

Might we really get that most wanted *travel call*? Soon?

In adoption-land, there are 2 much anticipated calls of importance. The first is your referral call. This tells you whether your child is a boy or girl, date of birth, a little general info (maybe) or, if you are adopting a waiting child, this call tells you he/she is yours. We have now experienced both kinds of referral calls.

The second call you wait for is the travel call that says your child is coming home on this day (escorted) or you may travel to take your child home.

We WILL experience both kinds of travel calls. We WILL. I do know we will receive that much, muCH, MUCH anticipated phone call.

We WILL rejoice, we WILL give praise to God, we WILL do a dance.....

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Our baby steps......the US Embassy in Thailand responded within 2 days to our email and said an officer would review the documents recently received and let us know when the Article 5 is sent. We also received our ICPC approval, which means we will be allowed BACK into our home state with Munchkin #3. Good news for my parents, my sister and brother-in-law who will be taking care of Peanut and Bug!! Thank you, God!!!

And thank you! for praying for us.

How can we pray for you?